Prisoner Grim
by Spectra16
Summary: Dementors make a habit of feeding off of Sirius' anguish over losing Remus. Two friends help him through his need for comfort, while trying to protect him from friends of the Black family. Heavy smut showers with a 100 percent chance of SEX!
1. One Motivating Force

**Prisoner Grim**

By Spectra16 (Andrew Jackson kills kittens with his bare hands.)

Summary: Sirius talks with a counselor in Azkaban about his life prior to his imprisonment. Angst. Romance. SBRL.

A/N: For those of you who hate fanon, Sirius/Remus is either canon or a very GAY series of coincidences. I got this idea from on of Cobalt Violet's (the best SBRL writer ever) fan fictions. I wanted to elaborate on it and add to it. Like my other HP fic, this is pretty epic and tells a bigger story. From the critical side of my conscious, this fic is just one big reason to practice a whole story and write a lot of smut.

Music to listen to for this story? Well, the angst parts go directly to Clint Mansell for his Requiem from a Dream. I love Paul Oakenfold's rendition in Zoo York. Rasputina, David Byrne, Death Cab for Cutie, and Rufus Wainwright are all advised as well.

And if you're wondering what I'm doing wasting my time on a SBRL story instead of working on A Dreadfully Convenient Crossover 2, I'm not going to work on it until school ends. I'm sorry. But I never have the urge to write ADCC unless it's summer.

WARNING: I love me alliteration!

-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter One: One Motivating Force

Cold, gray eyes almost didn't want to look up at whoever was coming into the cell. Curled black hair fell into view as the man put his head down and leaned back in his bed. Cool, artificial air probed at his organic skin, almost begging to saturate him. Expensive shoes clicked on the floor and a rustling of keys echoed in the hallway. A man down the way heard the keys and started babbling to himself earnestly. A faint echo could be heard by the rest of the inhabitants of Cell Block 16, the home of murders and anarchists.

The bars slid open in a mechanical way. The therapist wore a brown, tweed jacket and trousers, with a glint of sadness in his eyes. Working in this place was not ideal, but it paid so much better than working in a regular hospital facility or mental institution. The guard motioned for him to sit in a chair he'd brought specifically for him. It was cushioned and swiveled. His patient's eyes remained plastered to the wall next to him, as if he was watching it, awaiting it to move or open up for his escape. Maybe he didn't want to escape anymore. Maybe he just wanted to die.

"Sir," the guard nodded at the therapist, and he nodded back. The only form of protection against the murderer walked a few steps, haunting the hallway, walking up and down, inspecting the other men.

The therapist sat down and scooted closer to Sirius Black. The Potter's murderer would never know the therapist's real name, but it didn't really matter to either of them. Until today, Sirius had never bothered to speak to him. When Dr. Algernon Blight heard Sirius _asked_ to see him, he'd cancelled everything he had planned. Even Azkaban's biggest basket case Tom Turner had been put on hold, which might bring him to a mental break down, considering no one visited him except the good doctor.

An eerie air sat between the two men. The doctor folded his hand and leaned forward in his chair, hoping that Sirius would glance at him.

"What is it, Mr. Black?" Dr. Blight asked. He'd always made it his business to be courteous of even the coldest killers in Azkaban. Sirius didn't look up. Instead he ignored the man and shrugged.

"You must want to talk to me about something. You called me down here," Dr. Blight said gently. Sirius shifted in his seat. He looked up at the therapist with icy eyes, looking as if he hadn't shaved in a few days. Blight was aware of how old Sirius was according to his records but he never would've guessed Sirius was that young. Wrinkles riddled his face, which hit every resident in Azkaban within weeks. The change in personality was so sudden. Therapists were armed with electric batons meant especially for putting patients down if for any reason one moment they were fine, and the next they were not. Dr. Blight feared Sirius was nearing that inevitable time of uncontrollable desire to escape. He'd been attacked quite a few times in Azkaban, but he understood it was just another consequence of working here.

Azkaban had very obvious effects. Everyone turned out the same in the end, a pile of unhappy mush. And after five years of studying Azkaban patients, Dr. Blight realized that there was only one way to retain sanity; focus on revenge.

_It's funny, _Algernon thought randomly, _that_ _we refer to murderers as patients here._

Sirius opened his mouth, bringing the therapist back to him. He didn't say anything, but it was obvious that he meant to. With arms glued to his sides, Sirius cleared his throat.

"Can I tell you something?" Sirius said in a hushed whisper. Dr. Blight nodded solemnly.

"Of course, sir. That's what I'm here for," He replied. Sirius held himself tightly.

"I don't care if you don't believe me," He said quieter than before, "But I didn't kill my best friends."

Dr. Blight was a sucker for patients who claimed they were innocent. He'd almost been fired once for sympathizing for a death row patient. It was his first year working at Azkaban, and even after all these long, dreadful days in the worst place on earth, Dr. Blight could remember the man's name. Adam Richards. He'd killed his wife and four children and it was clear that he was guilty. With such a deceptive and conniving personality, it would be only natural to sweep your therapist up with false stories about your innocence. But even now, Dr. Blight wondered if maybe Adam Richards was not guilty. Algernon had almost been denied the position when he applied because he was so young. He'd pulled by with his credentials and the assurance of a certain wizardry school Headmaster who pleaded with the Ministry of Magic.

"He was my best mate. James Potter-," Sirius voice cracked in it's low murmur. His lip quivered and eyes watered. "I'd never kill his wife. Never. They were so happy together."

Already Dr. Blight's eyebrows were in a twisted mess of sympathy. His first few sentences shared with Sirius Black had just been spoken and already the doctor believed him. This was not a sign of Sirius' persuasive nature. This was Blight's irrefutable gullible nature.

"I know this may be hard, Mr. Black, but what pushed you to try to kill yourself?" Dr. Blight asked quietly. Sirius turned over his wrist and studied the scabs that was the result of too much thinking. "The doctors were very concerned about you. They said you were having hallucinations. Is it something you'd like to talk about?"

Sirius nodded, seemingly to collect his thoughts much better. One more step towards being less distant. His baggy prison jump suit draped over his thin body. And with a distressed look, Sirius forced eye contact with his therapist.

"You know, he'd be so mad if he knew I tried to kill myself," Sirius had a sour smile on his face, begging the therapist to ask questions. Dr. Blight crossed his arms.

"Who's 'he'?" The doctor asked. Sirius' heart surged with pain, dropping slowly into his stomach.

"My best friend," Sirius spoke quietly.

"Oh. James," Dr. Blight spoke obviously. Sirius shook his head calmly. Dr. Blight now noticed Sirius' hands were steadily shaking, not completely visible, but just enough.

"No. The only one who walks in freedom. . .," Sirius faded back into his mind. Dr. Blight could not imagine what he was on about now and wondered why Sirius' sanity seemed to come and go. _He's definitely teetering on that fine line. If he wasn't dangerous before, he certainly is now. _Dr. Blight wondered how he'd continue this conversation while Sirius dropped awkward pauses.

"Tell me, Sirius, how did you meet James Potter?"

"I didn't kill him."

"I didn't say you did," Dr. Blight was trying to maintain his patience. There were far worse people than Sirius Black in Azkaban, with twice as much attitude and anger. Ironically, most of them were related to Black in some way.

"Why do you want to know about James?" Sirius was about to hiss.

"No one's going to believe you didn't kill him unless we know about your relationship with him," Dr. Blight said persistently. Sirius bit his lip and cursed.

"He's the reason why I'm here! James and . . ._him_," Sirius said, his voice lathered with loathing. Dr. Blight sighed.

"Who is 'him'?" Dr. Blight asked impatiently. Sirius ran a shaky finger over his collar bone.

"Remus Lupin," He spat. Dr. Blight nodded, not knowing who it was, but it didn't matter.

"Is this the best friend you were referring to?" He asked analytically. Sirius nodded, still looking bitter as ever.

"He's not my friend," Sirius sneered. Dr. Blight saw what Sirius was getting at and even though he was against assumptions, he spoke up.

"What happened?" Dr. Blight asked, looking as concerned as possible. Sirius threw his legs over the beg to face the doctor. Propping up a thin pillow to lean against, Sirius prepared himself for a story he'd told himself many nights.

"I think he killed James and Lily."

"Why?" Dr. Blight asked.

"There were only five people who knew where they were hiding- James, Lily, Peter, Remus, and I. James, Lily, and Peter are dead! And I sure as hell didn't fuckin' kill my best friends! Just because I'm a Black means I'm guilty. Well, if the Ministry knew what Remus _is_, they wouldn't even have considered me a suspect!" Sirius screamed violently, his face shaking with rage. But inside, Sirius was more furious with him and the fact that even though Remus killed his friends and left him in Azkaban, he couldn't bring himself to tell anyone about his secret. His 'furry little problem' as they used to call it, back when they were mates.

Ignoring the last comment about Remus, Dr. Blight nodded and listened intently. He started, "You're family does have an extensive history of violence. With all due respect, they can't overlook your infamous family." Sirius buried his face in his hands and muttered.

"History. . .," Sirius scoffed. "They have an extensive history of being complete and utter hypocrites. They have an extensive history of idiocy and . . ."

"Sirius, you need to calm down," Dr. Blight said gently. Sirius did then, massaging his temples with his eyes tightly shut. Wrinkles moved and straightened with each tug at his face. Dr. Blight assumed everyone was younger than they looked in Azkaban. Some were better than others, but no one was left unchanged.

"Could I get something to drink?" Sirius asked quietly. Dr. Blight nodded and stood up with the prisoner. Sirius pushed himself to his feet, understanding the routine. Dr. Blight motioned for the guard to open the gate. He looked at the doctor in a strange way when he realized Sirius was ready to leave with him.

"We're getting a drink," Algernon explained. The guard nodded silently and opened the bars. Sirius' heart surged with a pulse that happened to all Azkaban patients. It was the insatiable surge of energy to run as fast as you could and as far away as possible to claim revenge or gain freedom. Sirius had just recently come to terms with the fact that he just wanted to die and that escape was pointless. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized how sweet and beautiful it would be to have revenge on Remus.

-.-.-.-

Sirius sipped apple juice from a plastic cup and surveyed the cafeteria around him. A few people were sparsely placed at several tables, all of them eating with either an accompaniment or alone. Sirius sat across from Dr. Blight, watching the man, wondering if maybe he could be his ticket out of Azkaban.

"Do you feel better?" Dr. Blight asked, sounding genuinely concerned. Sirius nodded without a word. "Do you still feel like talking?"

Sirius shrugged, watching a man across from him in the cafeteria. Dr. Blight did not recognize the man Sirius was watching. He must've been new because he walked like he had yet to be broken. The man's moppy brown hair was every which way and his body was thin. His chest was puffed out, as if he thought he had to seem tough in order for other prisoners to keep away from him. Azkaban was different like that. Sure, there were clashes on personality (like anywhere) but after being there for a certain amount of time, everyone realized it was better to stick together, rather than have cliques-or rather, gangs.

One could argue muggle jails were worse than Azkaban. Every bit of comfort in a muggle jail could be easily taken away from you. Sirius had visited a relative as a teen, his older cousin, who was in a muggle jail for drug trafficking. David had told Sirius how terrible it was- the fights, the gangs, the rapes, the isolation was too much for a young man to take.

_"There's this elevator," David started, whispering into the phone on the other side of the glass from Sirius, "-we use it for moving throughout the cells and wherever. We carry portfolios that state where we're going. There aren't any guards on the trip, so you never want to go on it."_

_Sirius didn't quite understand why David looked so frightened or why he was telling him this. The young Black wasn't naïve at age thirteen, but he couldn't fathom why David was shivering._

_"Rarely do you have someone to back you up, and when you don't, you pay for it. Usually, we're given forty bucks a month to buy snacks from the upstairs area only accessible by that elevator. Sometimes you never keep the stuff. And don't you dare refuse anyone what you have!" David started yelling at Sirius as if it was his lesson to learn about life. Sirius dumbly nodded, wondering when his mother would come to relieve him of this awkward conversation._

_"Do you have anyone to help you?" He asked, clenching the handle of the phone in his hand, leaning forward. David nodded, never taking his eyes off of Sirius._

_"I may have someone, but there are times when I don't," His said darkly. Sirius cringed, letting thoughts whisk him away into pity for his cousin. "Trust me, Sirius. You do not want to be here."_

But Sirius was there with his cousin, in the same mind set, the same despair and anticipation for freedom. But not the same place. Not by far.

"Mr. Black?" Dr. Blight asked, waking Sirius from his thoughts. He jerked, seeing that the doctor had been watching him while he recalled that vivid memory of his cousin in jail.

"I'm sorry. I was thinking," Sirius put his cup down. Dr. Blight crossed his arms and nearly smiled.

"Feel free to talk with me about whatever, whenever," He welcomed. Sirius nodded.

"I don't think I'm ready today, sir. I'll call for you some other time," Sirius gave the doctor an apologetic look. Dr. Blight sighed. He stood up and shook Sirius Black's hand. The man turned and walked out of the cafeteria without another word, still wondering if Sirius was stable or not.

There was enough evidence against it, but at the same time, he seemed _together_. Sirius Black had just tried to kill himself and he was exactly like how any mentally unstable, shaken up momma's boy was, but he also acted serene.

Dr. Blight returned to his office and checked the records for who had come to see Sirius in all the years he'd been at Azkaban. His mother had come once, but absolutely no one else had. This wasn't so unusual for Azkaban prisoners. It only took one relative to realize how unpleasant the place was.

The doctor sat back in his chair, wondering if Sirius would call on him again.

-.-.-.-.-.-

"How did you get a hold of metal?" Tussie grabbed Sirius' shoulder in a friendly way. Sirius blanched and crumpled up his plastic cup and threw it away.

"It's a secret," Sirius spoke sternly. Tussie tightened his face. He looked to the left and saw Sigmund walking towards them.

"Come on, who did you get it from? Did someone come see you?" Tussie insisted. Sirius shook his head, black hair wiggling back and forth. Sigmund, a hulking mass murderer (more than 2 meters tall) from Wales came toward the two men who were talking in hushed voices. With no manners at all, Sigmund cut in.

"There's a new guy," Sigmund stated.

"No. No one came to see me," Sirius continued. "No one gave it to me."

"Then how did you get it?" Tussie inquired. Sirius slyly smiled.

"None of your damn business!" Sirius ran his hand through his hair, feeling rather proud of himself now. "I'm a wizard. I tell my secrets to no one."

Tussie rolled his eyes and turned to Sigmund.

"What were you saying, Sig?" Tussie asked. Sigmund gritted his teeth.

"There's a new guy here! His name is Graham. Jus' arrived in the morning," Sigmund looked down at the feeble looking Tussie.

"Wup-dee-fuckin'-doo," Tussie pretended not to care. "What's he here for?"

"Some sort of sexual assault. He was talking about it before, but I wasn't really listening," Sigmund admitted. Tussie clicked his tongue.

"Dumb brute," Tussie muttered and walked away to get a snack. Sirius looked up at Sigmund, all the while, Sigmund watched Tussie's back expressionless.

"You know, Sig," Sirius started, "You could easily beat the respect out of Tussie Mussie." Sigmund only nodded a little. The two stood in silence until Tussie returned with a jello cup.

"Seriously, I want to know how you did it," Tussie said with a mouthful of jello. Sirius looked at him blankly.

"Did what?"

"The metal shard."

"No," Sirius replied coldly. "The secret impresses no one."

"Wait, what happened?" Sigmund asked. Sirius stayed silent, knowing Tussie wouldn't have a problem informing him.

"Sirius got a hold of a shard of metal and tried to kill himself. Poor bastard couldn't even manage that, even when he had the materials!" Tussie laughed and dug a spork into the red liquid-solid. Sigmund looked down and patted Sirius on the back.

"Did you just find it?" Sig asked.

"You could say that," Sirius didn't feel as good about taunting Sig with his accomplishment. "I no longer believe stable people can consciously kill themselves anymore."

"Why?" Sig asked inquisitively.

"You hear about movie stars and regular people killing themselves, and after you hear that, you hear 'They were on drugs and mixes and medication', you know? The human mind is far to intelligent to let it happen without being out of your mind," Sirius said sadly. Sig nodded quietly. Tussie just watched them.

"That was deep. Remind me to write a poem," Tussie scraped jello from the bottom of the cup. Both Sig and Sirius breathed deeply and gave him an impatient look.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Hot water dripped over Sirius' body, steam billowing through the room making it hard to breath. He parted his hair over and over again to completely soak his head. The sound of several shower heads ran with a hot stream of water. There were at least ten other men in the room and Sirius tried to avert his eyes. It was getting harder and harder to mind his own business in the showers. There was an unspoken "Don't ask, don't tell" policy about homosexuality in Azkaban, which everyone abided by. Sirius found himself deeply conflicted by this capping of raging hormones.

Tussie was next to him, lathering his hair with generic soap. Sirius watched him with his peripheral vision, not wanting anyone to know about him being gay, especially not Tussie. He had a habit of ridiculing people until they couldn't stand it anymore. Tussie was not a big man, but he definitely had something big to prove. With his sandy blonde hair and amber eyes, Sirius found himself attracted to him, but deathly afraid of that attraction. It had taken Sirius a few weeks to realize how alike him and Remus looked. Tussie's personality was the farthest thing from Lupin's though, but physical lust cared nothing for what was true.

"Give me the soap," Sirius muttered, running fingers down his arms. Tussie looked over and then back nervously, grabbing the bar of soap on a ledge. Sirius grabbed it too hard and it skidded across the floor. Sirius knelt over to retrieve it and raised his head to find Tussie's. The smaller man laughed and pushed Sirius' face away. Black glared at him and continued to wash.

"My little girl is coming to see me today," Tussie said finally, breaking the silence. Sirius put the bar down and put his back to the water.

"How old is she?" Sirius asked in a deep voice.

"Eight," Tussie replied.

"Aren't you afraid the dementors will scare her away?" Sirius wondered. Tussie let water run through his ear.

"I've been waiting four years for her to visit me _once_," Tussie emptied the water by jerking his head. "I miss my little Kelsey."

"Well, I'm happy for you. No one visits me," Sirius spat, rinsing his long hair. "All of my friends think I murdered my best mate, and my family is proud of what I didn't do, so I scared them off. Told them I never wanted them to see me again." Tussie put on a sympathetic look.

"I just realized we've never talked about family before," Tussie turned the knob on the shower. "It's nice. You seem less like a cold-blooded Death Eater when you talk like that." The man grabbed his white towel and ran it through his hair. Sirius looked back at him, his heart skipping a beat.

"I'm not a Death Eater. I'd have a bloody tattoo on my arm if that was true."

"I know, Sirius. You know what I mean," Tussie then wrapped the towel around his waist and leaned back on the wall. He looked over to his left and called to Sigmund.

"Hey, Sig. You got a cig?" Tussie smiled teasingly. Sigmund didn't turn around but instead rolled his eyes.

"You're not the only one with an inconvenient name, Sirius," Sigmund called out through the mist. Sirius smiled faintly and turned the water off. Ignoring Sig, Tussie focused his attention on Sirius.

"So no one visits you ever?" He asked. Sirius nodded, drying off. "Did you have a girlfriend? Did she dump you?"

Sirius bit his lip and looked at Tussie. "No, I didn't have a girlfriend."

"No kids?"

"No kids."

"Wow. You truly have no one. Didn't you mention you had a brother once?" Tussie asked.

"Yeah. Regulus. He is forbidden to see me in . . . person," Sirius spoke in a vague way. Sig slowly walked over to his friends and handed them both a cigarette. Tussie laughed.

"He had one after all," Tussie smiled and lit his with a match. He took a drag and blew the smoke in Sirius' face with a devious, almost sexual look in his tawny eyes. Sirius batted it away and grimaced. He delicately took a smoke from Sig's pack and lit it with a lighter he'd gotten from god knows where. Everyone had their ways of getting what they desired. _The secret impresses no one_, Sirius thought and smiled.

-.-.-.-.-

Sirius laid awake in his bed, waiting for the dreaded dementors to pass at ten. In the bunk next to him, Tussie was already asleep, even though he knew the dementors would wake him. His soft snoring was so hauntingly similar to Remus'. _I'm going to end up killing this man, only because he reminds me of the man who's killing me._ Sirius' fingers dug into his sides, cradling himself in his stiff bed. Stress built up in Sirius' forehead, and a sick feeling of unhappy anticipation for the dementors pressed hard on his soul. His stomach churned, knowing what was coming. Every bit of happiness, every feeling of comfort was about to be drained from him before he was about to sleep. It was hard to fall asleep with that kind of depression, that kind of hatred for yourself. It made him want to kill himself again.

Sirius broke out in tears, like most men in Azkaban before the rounds. It was a strange feeling, to feel like a child in the dark. He knew it was irrational to hate this time of night, but there was no other feeling he knew anymore. Sirius turned on his stomach and pressed his face in his pillow. There was no patronus, no chocolate to counter the affects of the dementors. Sirius felt like a spoiled child who cried to end whatever unpleasant feelings he had. His mind screamed for him to bang at the walls and door, to try to crawl into a small space and escape the sadness. His mind worked quicker and quicker. _I can't stay here! I hate it here!!! I want to go home and be with all of my dreadful relatives. I want Kreatcher and mother and Bella and Regulus. I want anything but this! I want Remus to Crucio me and tell me he hates me. . . . I want to die._

And at once, the dementors had passed and all of that stress fled Sirius. He was left a hollow, empty soul. No emotion filled Sirius Black then. Everything was still and Tussie snorted, not having woke this night. He was sure to start having nightmares within minutes, which Sirius would kindly wake him up from. It was impossible not to have nightmares once you were in Azkaban.

Sirius turned on his side to watch Tussie's chest rise and fall in his bed. His fingers twitched periodically. His hair was plastered to one side of his face with cold sweat. Sirius' heart physically ached whenever Tussie would remind him of Remus, which was almost always when he wasn't talking.

Tussie kicked and muttered something, yanking his head back and forth.

"No, stop! Please," Tussie jerked. Sirius swung his feet around and gingerly stepped towards Tussie. His heart pounded in anticipation. Naked toes inched closer to the closest thing to Remus that Sirius had. He knelt down, but instead of shaking Tussie like Sirius usually did when he was having a nightmare, he put his face closer to Tussie's. His breath tickled Sirius' face and neck, and it made him smile, filling him with a comfortable warmth. He looked at Tussie's innocent face and in an unconscious sweep of psychosis, Sirius' lips lightly pressed against Tussie's in the dark cell of Azkaban.

_So soft_, Sirius smiled, breathing. The man below him breathed in then too, waking up.

_Sirius opened his eyes and found Remus under him in an amber lit room, the sun just coming up and shining through a window. Remus licked his lips and stretching, realizing someone heavy was on top of him. He opened his eyes and smiled at the pieces of black hair tickling his cheeks. Sirius' arm was pressed under Remus' body, holding him close, but one hand still free._

_"Good morning," Sirius kissed him gently again. _

Lips parted in the darkness, and shocked eyes looked up at Sirius from a prison bed. Tussie was fully awake now and quickly sat up.

"What are you doing?" He asked indignantly. Sirius stepped back, wiping his lips.

"N-nothing. I just . . . I was-," Sirius started but hadn't planned for what he'd say if Tussie woke up.

"I'm sorry."

-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Tell me what you think. I know this is one big mess of setting up and plot, but hey, it's more fiction than fan.

**I suggest not reading the rest of this story if you don't want the seventh book ruined for you.**

Yeah. I knew that would get your attention. Obviously, I haven't read the seventh book yet, but I know a little something about Regulus that HASN'T been circulating over the internet, which is weird considering it's really obvious. I already dropped a big, fat hint in this chapter, and if you can find it and understand it, let me know. It has to do with the third book, which might sound strange. Anyways, I'll explain it all soon and I'll have this done before the seventh book comes out so that you can brag to your friends.


	2. Make Believe

**Prisoner Grim**

By Spectra16 (Tesla is to Edison as rusty nails are to fluffy bunnies)

A/N: I hope you've enjoyed this. I apologize for my grammar mistakes, etc. I make really dumb mistakes very often and I have no beta. Really dumb. It doesn't help that I write like an insomniac. I also want to remind everyone that this story does get quite . . . Vivid. I will NOT be warning you. This is not a school girl fluff story! Shove a tampon in it!

Disclaimer: I think I don't own Harry Potter. I'm excited to see Sirius Black in the new movie!! It'll be my first time seeing a HP movie in a theater. Yippee!

-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Two: Make Believe

Dull sunlight filtered through clouds and onto a dreary courtyard. Dementors hovered over the small space for prisoners to get fresh air. They kept watch, making sure everyone was behaving. Sirius paced back and forth, looking out over the sea surrounding Azkaban. Cool air drifted through the encampment, making him shiver. Sig walked quietly next to Sirius, not wanting to ask why Tussie had avoided them for the past few days.

"It's quiet," Sirius said. Sig didn't reply in any way. He pulled a carton of cigarettes from his back pocket to smoke. Sirius grabbed one too, and smoked with his friend.

"I talked to Dr. Blight last night," Sig swallowed. Sirius looked up at the large man.

"About what?"

"Nothing really. I just needed someone to talk to," Sig took a drag. Sirius shrugged.

"Anything interesting?" Sirius asked.

"I miss my family," Sig started, maybe too hastily. Sirius could tell he desperately wanted to talk. All this time he'd known Sig, he'd been so quiet and secretive. Maybe things had gotten to him enough. He was probably teetering on that same insanity Sirius had been feeling a week prior.

"Tell me about them," Sirius insisted. Sig looked thoughtfully out at the sea, each ripple of water influencing his mind with memories he'd buried of his family.

"My mother was beautiful. A very good woman--always trying to help me. My father broke her spirit. He was an alcoholic," Sig stumbled on his words, unsure of himself now. Sirius patted him on the back, not pressing him with any more questions. Sig felt an uncomfortable pit in his throat, choking him with bitter thoughts. Both men took a drag. Footsteps came towards them, and Sirius spun around, hoping it was Tussie.

A new face stared at Sirius as he turned. Sirius bit his lip, realizing this was the new man who'd come a few day before.

"Hello. Do you mind?" He pointed to the cigarette hanging from Sirius' mouth. Sirius nodded and opened the carton he had from Sig. The man took it politely and smiled.

"This place is very different from muggle prison," He lit and breathed in, still watching Sirius.

"You've been to one?" Sirius asked inquisitively. The man nodded, tapping the smoke.

"Only for two years," he waved it off. "What's your name?"

"Sirius Black. And this is Sigmund Sauer," Sirius patted Sig's arm, who then turned around and gave the new guy a nod. The man smiled wickedly and took a drag.

"_Sirius Black_," He said, impressed. "I've been having a helluva time trying recognize people here. Usually an Azkaban convict gets put in the papers. But I remember you." Sirius swallowed hard, his throat moving up and down. He was afraid of what the man would say, but he noticed Sirius' uneasy reaction and stopped.

"My name's Graham Bragg," He stuck out his hand for Sirius to shake. Sirius grabbed his hand and squeezed a bit.

"I'm surprised you don't know anyone here. I'm nearly related to everyone," Sirius joked.

"At least you'll always have _someone _to talk to," Graham stepped closer to Sirius. His face seemed to be in an everlasting sly way. Sirius recognized it, but couldn't think of who it reminded him of.

"I hate the lot of them," Sirius muttered. Graham chuckled.

"Sorry to hear that."

Sig stomped out his cigarette.

"I'm going back now, Sirius," He announced and started walking without another word. Graham's eyebrows raised.

"Strange guy," Graham took a drag. Sirius shrugged.

"He's okay. He's got quite the story behind him. I don't think I'd have nearly as many stories if I lived to be a hundred," Sirius defended his friend.

"What kind of stories?" Graham pried.

"Mafia ones. Good ones. If I had any sense in me, I'd write a book about him," Sirius watched the hulking man shuffle across the sandy courtyard and to the doors to enter the prison.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Sirius sat up in bed, wondering where Tussie was. He must've been bunking with someone else since their incident. Black had too quickly interpreted Tussie's teasing as feelings and now was paying for it. And now was his time to talk about it with Dr. Blight, who was yet again in a chair facing him. Dr. Blight was dressed in his finest, as always, and his hair was slicked back with gel. Designer glasses hung over a prominent, thin nose. Sirius could feel mixed emotions in the doctor, paranoia for what the prisoner might do and at the same time, he felt compassion.

"What would you like to talk about?" Dr. Blight asked, crossing a leg over the other and cupping his hands around his knee. Sirius looked up, no longer wanting to hide anything.

"Well, my roommate, Tussie-- I think you know him, right?" Sirius asked. Dr. Blight looked a bit confused and looked up at the ceiling, and then down again.

"Do you mean Tucker? Tucker Harbringer?" He asked. Sirius nodded. "What a peculiar nickname. . . ." The doctor paused and grinned curiously. "Is there a story behind it?"

"Well, yes," Sirius stifled a laugh. "After he came here, Sig got a hold of a Daily Prophet with an article about his arrest. There was a picture of him at the time of his capture. He'd been hiding in the bushes. Sig said his hair looked like a tussie mussie."

Dr. Blight hid a wide smile by pressing his lips together tightly. He silently laughed.

"Go on. Tell me about 'Tussie'," Dr. Blight looked directly into Sirius' blue eyes. Sirius bit his lip.

"Well, we were always sort of friends. He came here a few months after I did. And well. . . I guess--there's no easy way of saying this but--maybe . . . I've always been attracted to men I suppose . . .," Sirius felt nervous now. Dr. Blight was immediately shocked. He'd never know Sirius' sexual preference, since he was such a good looking man. Algernon tried to hide his astonished face by nodding understandingly. "I guess, I thought Tussie might feel the same way. So I kissed him. I know that sounds stupid but he reminds me of--"

Sirius stopped when he looked up at Dr. Blight, who looked thoroughly uncomfortable. Sirius' eyes fell to the floor again, where they'd been before.

"He hasn't come back to this cell in a long time. I've lost track of the days already. I didn't mean to scare him off," Sirius muttered. Dr. Blight broke from his trance and slapped himself with the fact that this was his job. It wasn't the first a prisoner had told him this, and it wouldn't be the last. But Sirius Black was certainly the last person he'd suspect of being gay.

"Wait, who does Mr. Harbringer remind you of?" Dr. Blight tilted his head. Sirius shuddered unconsciously.

"Someone I loved . . . Before all this madness," Sirius rubbed his temples.

"Do you want to talk about . . .him?" Dr. Blight asked nervously. Sirius stretched his arms and laid back.

"Yes. Desperately," Sirius' voice was layered with anxiety, closing his eyes.

"Well. . . Go on," Dr. Blight mentally winced at his own words, trying very hard to be professional.

"Remus J. Lupin."

"The man you think framed you?" Dr. Blight exclaimed. Sirius shook his head.

"No. I feel like he's betrayed me somehow. But I know who it really was," Sirius spoke mysteriously. Algernon was starting to doubt Sirius' sanity again.

"Well, w-when did you start going steady with Remus?" Dr. Blight asked. Sirius breathed deeply on his back, setting his hands on his stomach.

"Fifth year at Hogwarts," Sirius opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Dr. Blight smiled now.

"Care to elaborate?" He teased Sirius' secretive nature. Sirius coolly shook his head. And almost too cheerfully, he replied.

"No."

Sirius blinked, sending him back to that wonderful, fateful, horrid moment.

_"Come on Peter! Hurry up!" James hissed, nearly forcing him through the hole in the base of the Whomping Willow. Sirius smiled devilishly at James._

_"After you," He said frightfully polite way. James chuckled and jumped in after Peter. _

_The walk through the damp corridors underground was a disgusting one. James nearly flipped out when he walked into a cobweb. _

_"Settle down, James. Fuckin' stag," Sirius muttered. James punched him in the shoulder. All three hurried to find Remus who'd gone ahead a while before them and had no idea of what they'd planned._

_"We could easily take this route to Hogsmead for fire whiskey," James' mind sparked with ideas. Sirius smiled, his hair whipping around behind him with his fast pace. _

_Down the corridor the three Marauders ran, occasionally tripping over loose roots in the ground. It was a long journey through the darkness that was only pushed back by James' wand, lit at the tip. Peter jogged slower than the two slimmer boys, trying not to pant like a dog. Looking ahead at Sirius, a little speck of metal dangled from a collar that James had said made him look like a pouf. Sirius didn't protest and exclaimed he wanted it so that he wouldn't get lost. _

_The boys climbed up through the floor boards of the Shrieking Shack, eager to see Remus, hoping that he hadn't turned into a werewolf quite yet._

_One flight of stairs up, Remus heard the creaking boards below, terrified that someone had found this place, terrified of himself. He clutched his arms tightly, feeling himself on the brink of turning. He looked out of the sliver of the window that wasn't draped in rags. The moon peered at him behind a cloud, nearly revealing itself. What seems like hundreds of footsteps ran up to the room where Remus sat on the floor. Through the door came his three best friends, smiling like loons. Unable to stand, Remus' face contorted._

_"What are you doing?!?! GET OUT OF HERE!!" He shrieked. Sirius approached him first and knelt down. A charming smile spread across his face._

_"Not tonight," He pulled his black wand from his cloak pocket and tapped himself lightly on the head as his body twisted into a black dog. Slender hands turned into slender paws and a wagging tail swung in motion correlating to Sirius' happy mood. Remus' eyes widened and when he looked up, he saw a deer with a rat on his back, looking emptily at him. He smiled and patted Sirius on the head._

_The black dog opened his mouth and a pink tongue stuck out, almost comically. Remus ran his fingers down the dog's neck and scratched. The dog inched closer and licked Remus' face gently. Remus pushed him away and he shuddered in pain. Lupin looked up into the sky again, noticing the cloud had peeled away from the moon._

_After the transformation, the werewolf didn't quite understand why there was an assortment of animals, and for whatever reason, it calmed him. James knelt down on the floor as both the dog and wolf howled at the moon. He almost rolled his eyes and snickered. _Must be a dog thing_, he muttered in his head. _

_When Remus awoke as a human drenched in sweat, naked and scarred, his eyes shot open at the sight of Sirius laying next to him covered in the same bloody wounds. Weakly, he bit his lip, wondering if his becoming an animagus had been a dream and if he had attacked his best friend. Nervously, Remus winced as he shook Sirius' arm. Remus looked over to see Peter and James on the floor with thin blankets draped over them. Sirius grunted and drew Remus' attention back to him._

_"Sirius . . . What happened?" He asked, already knowing the answer. Sirius rubbed his eyes and yawned. A smile crept across his face then. Sirius' blue eyes looked grayer than normal in the dimly lit room._

_"We did our part. James found the instructions to becoming animagus. We couldn't just pass that opportunity up," Sirius spoke deeply and chuckled. Remus' worried expression hadn't changed._

_"That's illegal, Sirius! Why would you do something so stupid?!" Remus whispered harshly, as to not wake up his other companions. Sirius' stomach lurched, wondering if this was the best time. His doubts were swept away with the look in Remus' eyes and his last coherent thought, "There will never be a better time."_

_Letting actions speak louder than words, Sirius gently seized Remus' hair and pressed thin lips to Remus'. Lupin faded into a dizzy spell as his eyes rolled back into his head. Sirius jerked his head and moved his lips to get closer to him, but Remus awkwardly pulled away._

Sirius snapped from his thoughts when Dr. Blight cleared his throat. His eyes connected with the therapist's, unaware that he'd just drifted off into some dementia.

"Well, if you're not going to diverge in these matters, I'd like to ask you some questions," Dr. Blight said more fervently. Sirius nodded nervously. "The other inmates claim you were having hallucinations. Can you tell me what you saw?"

Sirius pressed his lips together and his shoulders looked rigid and uncomfortable. Fidgeting unconsciously where his favorite ring used to dig into his finger, his eyes escaped to the floor.

"I don't have hallucinations," Sirius protested calmly and half-heartedly. Dr. Blight's eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh. Well, rumor is that you can occasionally be heard talking to someone," Dr. Blight reminded him, having heard him speak as well.

"That's not a hallucination, sir. Many prisoners here do that. Why do you scrutinize me when it's so common?" Sirius voice suddenly became dangerous. Dr. Blight raised his hands and eyebrows.

"Look, I was told to ask you about it. Hallucinations are not uncommon either, but they're a definite sign that you need medication. I'm just checking up on you. You're at the point that most prisoners get when this kind of medical attention is needed. If we don't help you soon, it'll get worse," Algernon used his most syrupy, sweet voice he could muster. Sirius breathed in deeply and sighed.

"I'm not sure if I want to talk anymore," He muttered, breaking eye contact.

"Oh Sirius, I'm sorry," Algernon's voice hit a very strange tone that sounded similar as if he was speaking to a child. "You're reaching a delicate point and I'm here to help you."

"Thank you, doctor. Good day," Sirius said bluntly, eyes cross and mouth closed tightly.

"Sirius-"

"Good day!" Sirius said forcefully. Dr. Blight face faulted and he stood up, dragging the chair along with him and as the gate opened, Tussie looked up at the doctor, nearly bumping into him.

"Tucker!" Dr. Blight said surprised. "Excuse me." He walked off, having one of the human guards carry his chair along. As he walked down the hallways, he could hear Tussie speaking with Sirius, hoping that this would help Sirius in some way.

"Sirius, I'm sorry I was gone. They put me on lockdown," Tussie said urgently. Black's face softened, wondering how much more drama he could endure for the day.

"Wh-why?" Sirius managed to ask as his heart burned and contorted in nervousness. He noticed several deep, cleaned up cuts on Tussie's face and among several swelling bruises, his arm almost looked broken.

"I was in a fight in the rec room. I didn't start it, obviously," Tussie said flamboyantly, almost sounding as if he wasn't angry with Sirius. This eased his mind a bit. "Angus Goyle decided he wanted to periodically punch every man in the room in the face, and at least seven of us had to gang up on him to put him down. Of course, I ended up looking the worst out of all of them and was to blame, clearly! Dementors are so damn stupid! If they had a lick of commonsense, I might've been let off the hook! But no! 'Fuckers broke up the fight after every man piled on top of me HAPPENED to be on top of Goyle. I wish Sig was there. He'd have laid the cunt straight!" Tussie ranted on almost comically. Sirius couldn't help but smile at Tussie making dumb hand gestures and swearing and making angry faces.

After Tussie had stopped and caught his breath, he smiled and asked, "How are you? Find any more switch blades just laying around? Let me know, would you? Goyle's just asking for a shanking." Sirius laughed handsomely, forgetting how wonderful it felt. He coughed a few times after and looked up into Tussie's amber eyes. At that moment, Tussie was Remus again. Sirius shook the hallucination from his mind again. He wondered if he should bring up the kiss, considering his roommate hadn't yet.

But as Sirius had been thinking, he hadn't noticed the look in Tussie's eyes, starring at the man sitting on the cot and listening to his story.

"Sirius," Tussie said softly. Sirius heart skipped again as he looked back up at his make-believe Remus. "I wanted to ask you about the night before lockdown."

Sirius shivered. He was scared. His palms were slick with sweat already. Just being in the same room as him was nerve wracking. Gray light filtered through a tiny window to high to see through, covered in white paint.

"Yeah. I'm sorry about that. It won't happen again," Sirius circled his naked ring finger. Tussie sat down next to him.

"I want you to understand that I'm not gay," Tussie explained. Sirius nodded, not looking at him. "But I'm not opposed to having sex."

Sirius hadn't been expecting that, and at the same time, sure he had. Tussie didn't bother to let Sirius agree of protest, but instead, reached for Sirius' pants, undoing the black and white stripes. Black didn't say anything. His mind quickly wandered to a happier memory, where Tussie was Remus and prison was heaven. But unlike Remus, Tussie was forceful straight away as he yanked Sirius hair into his lap. Sirius was quiet, uncaring, always imaging Lupin.

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: I swear, my secret will appear in the next chapter. I dropped a couple more hints though. Ten pounds goes to whoever guesses first! Ten pounds of what, I'm not sure yet.

Review good reviews!


	3. Silent and Sad

**Prisoner Grim**

By Spectra16 (MASTER OF BLUNT)

A/N: Yes. Regulus. In this chapter. Big scary secret. It cometh! For the record, let's say Sirius has been in Azkaban for a little over three years. I'm trying to work out the time dynamics myself, and it's not going to be easy to fit twelve years into a couple of chapters. Believe it or not, but there's more to the story after that, including Sirius' escape, him sneaking into Hogwarts, and then out, and then what he did the year before Harry was able to see him again. Yes, this is going to be a long ass story with plenty of love--

THIS CHAPTER IN PARTICULAR. Heavy smut showers with a 90 chance of sex flashback.

-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Three: Silent and Sad

Sirius was nearly melding into the couch in the same recreation room Tussie had his fight in. A tiny television in the corner faded in and out of decent reception, but no one seemed to care. Sig sat next to Sirius with his arm draped over the back, nearly touching Black. Tussie had his nose in a book about dementors, ironically. The Ministry certainly had a sick sense of humor with their so called "privileges" in Azkaban.

There was something arousing about the familiar memory Sirius was secretly living in. The rec room was cold and ordinary, but served as a decent meeting place for prisoners. If Azkaban was to Hogwarts, the rec room was to the Gryffindor common room. And if Tussie chose to stick his thin nose in a book, what choice did Sirius have but to see him as Remus?

A few more moments of irrational day dreaming put Sirius in a strange mood. Sig peered over at his companion, seeing his hands twitch a bit as his cool eyes watched Tussie read. Sig didn't understand it, why Sirius put up with Tussie's antics. Honestly, he personally didn't know why he did himself.

Breaking both of their deep thoughts, Tussie leaned over to the both of them behind the couch. His feminine fingers pointed at a sentence in the thin book. His smile was soft as he looked back and forth between the two men.

"It's only ten AM and I've already learned something today. Look here," His voice changed. "Dementors have been guarding Azkaban since the Middle Ages."

"Get that book away from me, Tussie," Sirius barked, pushing it away from his face. "It's bad enough we have to be around the damn things all day."

"Correction," Tussie flipped pages to make him appear smarter. "If we were around them all day, we'd technically be admitted to a nice padded cell in St. Mungo's. Fortunately and unfortunately, that isn't the case." Tussie walked away to the front of the couch and plopped down on the floor, still holding his book open. Sirius let the man's arm brush against his calve. The simple touch made his heart flutter. Ever since their first sexual encounter, Sirius knew no one by the name of Tussie anymore. Call it insanity or just a result of being at Azkaban, but his sight failed to see the real person before him.

Such a personality change in Sirius would've been concerning if anyone could see it. Never before had he been reclusive or experienced hallucinations, and he certainly wouldn't have let anyone use him the way Tussie was. In Sirius' mind, Remus was there in Azkaban with him in the form of a petite, tiresome man who walked around like he had something to prove.

"Is there anything about how to defeat them?" Sig asked quietly with his meaty hands clasped together in his lap. Tussie nodded.

"Mostly stuff about the patronus. 'course, none of us have wands. And even if we did, it would be difficult," Tussie swallowed, flipping another few pages. "They have a shitload in here about how to stay sane. Like chocolate, obviously. Chocolate stimulates endorphins and counters the norapinephrin dementors induce. There's a little about weird scientific studies. They dedicated a whole chapter to animal tests and the controversial studies that have been done on children-"

"Wait, what about animals?" Sirius asked as his ears twitched. Tussie looked up at him and then back down at the book.

"Several different types of animals react differently to dementors, some better than others apparently," Tussie was about to continue when Sirius snatched the book from his hands. Instead of throwing a fit, Tussie grimaced and waited for Sirius to be done.

Pensive eyes scanned over the page quickly and stopped immediately when the word "dog" came into view. His throat tied up in a knot as the sentence read, "Mammals similar to cats and dogs are not as stressed when exposed to dementors." Tussie turned around and looked up, resting his arm on Sirius' thigh.

"Makes you wish you were an animagus," Tussie joked. Sirius felt his face turn red and his hair prickle on the back of his neck. Sig kept his eyes fixed on the television but understood exactly what was going on.

"Yeah," Sirius said emptily. He gingerly handed Tussie his book back, but he no longer seemed to care. Instead, he turned around, leaving his arm on Sirius' shivering leg.

"Of course, if anyone were to become an animagus, I'd think it'd be you. You find the craziest shit. Switchblades? That's nothing compared to becoming an animagus without a wand," Tussie joked in a low enough voice that didn't attract attention from any other prisoners. Sirius nudged him with his foot.

"Quiet," Sirius hissed. Sig looked at the two men with his peripheral vision, almost smirking.

-.-.-.-.-

"Sirius, that has to be the most ridiculous hobby I've ever known anyone to have," Tussie looked down at Sirius, who was laying on his belly, scribbling words onto a piece of paper. It was a collection of boxes and clues to words, which some people would call a rough crossword puzzle.

"Well, once I get out of here, I'm going to be ready with this job. I'll work for the Daily or the Scribbler, making horoscopes and crossword puzzles. YOU, my friend, will be stuck in your parent's cellar, sucking down ramen noodles and watching old episodes of Cheers," Sirius smirked. "You have no room to criticize! Do I question your hobbies when you beg for a second serving of mashed potatoes to make miniature-sized head sculptures of me? No. Of course not."

Tussie stared Sirius down for a few moments before realizing he wasn't going to move, so he grabbed Sirius by his arms and yanked him from his bed.

"You pompous faggot!" Tussie tried to act as angry and tough as possible. "If I didn't peg you in the ass every night, you'd be a darling, horny school boy!! Instead, I get this attitude and disrespect! Fuck you, Black!" Tussie tossed him back onto the bed. Looking a little shaken, Sirius tried to redeem himself.

"Jesus, Tuss. Don't be so pissed off," Sirius misinterpreted Tussie's drama for genuine feelings. "I'm sorry."

Tussie's frown twisted on it's side to form a smirk. He brushed his hand down his chest slowly to straighten his striped jumpsuit, not realizing that the long stroke aroused Sirius.

"Me too. I'm sorry you're so gay. I might not enjoy it so much if you weren't," Tussie laughed and gave Sirius the same look that Lupin might have.

_"I'm nervous," Remus spoke distantly, pulling from a kiss on his four poster bed in the Gryffindor dorms. Sirius had nearly dragged him through a group of people in the common room, knowing that both Peter and James were gone for a bit. Sirius opened his eyes, pausing in the middle of removing Lupin's white, button down shirt._

_"What's wrong?" He asked gently. Remus shrugged. Sirius' lips pressed together in a thin line, wondering what it could possibly be now._

_"Just a few moments ago you were. . . You know. . . Pretty excited," Sirius smiled, referring to how eagerly he'd been grinding up against the other boy's hips, silently begging him for affection lower down his body. Sirius gave him a few reassuring kisses on his neck. They weren't rough or impatient, like it had been before. Just nice and pleasant._

_"I don't want to rush you into anything. If there's something wrong, you need to tell me," Sirius tried hard not to let the fiery feeling in his member to get in the way of talking to Remus, but there wasn't much he could do. Before he could stop himself, his thin tongue wandered into Remus' ear, releasing a cry from the boy beneath him._

_"Sirius --god--, _please_!" Remus gently pushed him away, conflicted feelings wanting more and not wanting more. Sirius breathed heavily into his ear, forcefully licking the inside. Remus' thin hands grabbed Sirius' cloak and pulled him closer, grinding his member on Sirius' inner thigh. Sirius stopped licking and grinned at Remus as he continued to thrust._

_"Are you sure you're nervous?" He chuckled. Remus didn't answer, but his eye lid were heavy with ecstasy, which would've spoken louder than words. "I think you're ready. Please tell me I'm not wrong in assuming that," Sirius whispered softly, sounding hornier as Remus kept pressing up against him. Black started quickly unbuttoning Remus again, finally able to run his fingers across the soft skin that was somewhat obstructed by an occasional scar that ran irregular. Sirius' tongue quickly ran across the longest one that ran from Remus' belly button and fell short of his under arm. The werewolf's nerves shuddered and twitched._

_"Sirius," Remus whispered reverently. Sirius looked up under dark eyelashes and continued his tasting trek across the boy's body. Small breaths tickled Remus as he smiled and his eyes rolled back partially. Sirius grabbed his love handles, worshipping his bellybutton with his tongue, pushing it in and out as if to give him some sort of sick innuendo. Remus' penis was pushing against Sirius' chest now, reminding him all of this foreplay was painfully slow._

_Remus didn't seem to be nervous as he heard the sound of his pants unzipping. A weak moan leaked through his throat, and his body lay perfectly still, hands spread out at his sides. Sirius nudged the bulge with his nose, still unrevealed because of Remus' black boxers. His lips teased the soft skin below with tiny soft nips and kisses. Sirius licked the tip of the fabric, wishing for another taste. His fingers crept into the seam of Remus' underwear and reached in for the member. Remus whimpered in anticipation, rubbing his torso to give himself some sort of pitiful satisfaction. His fingers lightly brushed over his own nipples, and his breathing wasn't deep anymore, but changed into short whiffs of lustful sickness._

_Sirius liked seeing Remus try to hold his emotion. He did it all of the time, with every situation. If Sirius had it his way, he'd have already thrust Remus into spasms of pain, but he wanted the werewolf to snap, to reveal itself outside of a full moon and pin _him_ to the bed and rape him coldly. Sirius figured it was unlikely, but not impossible. This first time would be their best. It already was._

_So Sirius took his time removing the boxers from Remus' pelvis. He dragged them down slowly past his member and down his thin legs._

_"Get on with it, please," Remus begged as Sirius had just gotten then down past the knees._

_"Patience, Moony. You're such a horny little git when you don't get your way," Sirius teased, trying to sound as uninvolved as possible. Seeing Remus' face contort with frustration was delightful. Once Sirius threw the boxers on the floor, he pretended to be leaning his face forward into Remus' dick, but instead kept moving up his torso and planted a tender kiss on Lupin's lips. He pushed Sirius' face away and looked pissed off._

_"Dammit, Sirius! You're building me up TOO much. Just suck me!" Remus threw a mini fit, wondering why he was acting so strangely. Sirius grimaced playfully and pushed himself back down. He seductively looked up at Remus and pressed his tongue against the tip, tasting the first bit of precome. Remus looked a little relieved, but clearly wanted more immediately. Sirius licked along the bottom of the shaft without inserting the whole thing in his mouth. _

_Remus gasped, thrusting once, feverishly trying to tell Sirius he wanted more. Sirius licked once more, giving him a short tongue flick under the tip._

_"Shit," Remus whispered, closing his eyes tightly. This was the moment Sirius had been hoping for. He licked once more before climbing back up to Remus' face and kissed him forcefully. Remus gasped in surprise, grabbing Sirius' shoulders and pushed him off. Sirius laid down next to Remus and tried desperate not to laugh. Remus panted in anger, not knowing what to do with the most painful boner he'd ever had in his life. Sirius turned his head and blew air into Remus' ear._

_"If you really want it, you need to force me," Sirius spoke playfully. Remus turned his head to face him, their noses almost touching._

_"Is that it?" Remus asked impatiently. Sirius nodded with a horridly smug look on his face. There was no warning as Remus flipped over on top Sirius and pinned his arms above his head, so that Sirius' eyes were level with Remus' throbbing member. Sirius opened his mouth in shock, realizing that he'd done it, but his surprised speech was apprehended by the head shoved in his mouth. Remus thrust deeply to the back of Sirius' throat, uncaring to the occasional gag or moan. Remus watched Sirius squirm beneath him, but who also did nothing to get out of the bind. Remus released himself into Sirius without warning, and not knowing what to do with the fluids, Sirius swallowed hard and breathed heavily._

_"Damn, Moony," Sirius' sweaty forehead glistened as a tiny smile spread across his face. Remus looked down with a lustrous look that Sirius had never seen before. Still pinning his hands above his head, Remus sat on Black's chest._

_"I hope I don't have to pay you for this," Remus joked._

Tussie coldly pulled out of Sirius and hiked up his pants. Sirius winced in pain and continued to lay on his stomach on his cot. The smaller man said nothing as he left the cell. Sirius wiped the water from his eyes and put his face in his pillow. The sun had gone down and the room was so dimly lit that it would've been pointless for Sirius to continue his word scramble. He laid there in silence, listening to the sound of Tussie's soft footsteps down the hallway. Sirius wondered where he was going, considering the dementor's nightshifts were nearing.

Sirius closed his eyes tightly and wondered what Lupin was doing at that very moment. He could imagine him folding tattered laundry or reading a book by his fireplace, or maybe listening to his record player. In all of these platonic fantasies, Remus was also content. Sirius never imagined him depressed or shut up in his home. It was idealistic and untrue, but Black never had it in him to be realistic in his mind.

Sirius was drifting to sleep when he heard tiny pitter patters on the ground. Black immediately recognized the sound and jumped up. He looked down at the floor and saw a beautiful orange tabby looking up at him. Sirius smiled and patted the cat on the head.

Tiny paws molded into strong human hands that erected in a stance. Dark, familiar eyes met with his brother's as Regulus grinned. Sirius looked up at his closest of kin and turned his wrists over.

"I failed. The guards stopped me before I could. . . Finish," Sirius whispered sadly, giving his brother an apologetic look. Regulus sat down next to his older brother and wrapped his arm around him.

"I'm sorry," He muttered. "They sent word to mother about what happened. I came as fast as I could." Sirius entertained a chortle.

"What did she say?"

"Well," Regulus looked up at the ceiling, a playful hint in his voice. "She may have mentioned something about how you were worthless and couldn't even manage to end your own life. . . But she _did_ seem concerned." Regulus furrowed his eyebrows and pressed his lips tighter to hide a wide grin. Sirius shook his head and straightened his back.

"That's good to hear."

Regulus looked around in the dark room and then back at Sirius' distant eyes that flickered at him. The silence between the two brothers was painful for Regulus, who could barely go a few days without speaking to his rebellious brother. Desperate to start the most difficult discussion he'd have with Sirius, he started with trivial matters, wondering if this would be the last time Sirius would speak to him.

"It's good to see you again," Regulus whispered. Sirius turned his head, shortening the distance between their prominent, aristocratic noses, leaving the younger brother restless and uneasy.

"Out with it, Regulus," Sirius had a sturdy assumption that Regulus had something important to say. The heir to the Black fortune put his head down and sulked. He was haughty, unreasonable, self-assured alone but when he older brother was around him, all of his mannerisms changed. His parents saw their child as a perfect heir, a prick and a prince. Little did they know their son was living a heroic double life.

"Sirius, don't be angry with me," Regulus stated, still unsure of himself. Short strands of hair that floated on his eyes fluttered with each blink. Like his brother, his fiddled with the hand-crafted silver rings on his hands, each studded with rubies and emeralds. "I met someone. . ."

"Dammit, Regulus," Sirius stood up and walked with his back to his brother. "I already know, dammit! I saw it coming. Father and _Walburga_ warned me." Sirius uttered his mother's name spitefully. "They threatened me. So I ran away! You could've done the same! How hopelessly stupid is it to follow a dead madman?!"

"You don't understand, Sirius! This is important! This is the chance we've been waiting for!" Regulus felt nervous bantering about something he hadn't even laid out for Sirius yet. Tension in his forehead strained his thoughts and forced him to yell. Sirius didn't look back, not very worried that the dementors would come by, or that anyone would hear.

"You've been waiting for it," Sirius spoke softly. "I didn't want it because . . . It's dangerous. You shouldn't have to be the only one."

Regulus stood up, following Sirius. He laid one similar hand on his brother's shoulder and tried to face him.

"I'm not the only one!"

"You _think_ you're not the only one."

"That's where you're wrong, Sirius. I met someone who was a follower before He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was desecrated. He's had a change of heart! _Dumbledore_ trusts him! Dumbledore trusts me! He knows I can help expose the other Death Eaters. If You-Know-Who was ever to return, I will be the first to know!" Regulus' expressions softened. Sirius looked down at him and his nose twitched.

"You haven't come here for counsel," Sirius grabbed his brother's arm and yanked his shirt, exposing a grotesque skull with a snake laying still as a tattoo. Sirius let himself take a sharp breath. With a bitter tremble in his voice, Sirius said, "I didn't want this for you."

"There's no better person for this, brother. I've been waiting for this my whole life. I've kissed up to the family, I've played the part of a snotty Slytherin, I've done everything possible to give off an aura the Dark Lord's follower. What would you have me do? Waste all of this effort on fighting . . .," Regulus swallowed hard. "Voldemort on your side. I have a side to be on."

Sirius looked down at the floor, sad and silent. A frigid breeze swept past the two Blacks. The prisoners had felt this unnatural cold sweep every night just as they were warm in their beds. Sirius' eyes narrowed.

"The dementors," He muttered. Regulus wasted no time turning back into the orange, grumpy-faced cat he'd always been. Sirius realized this might be his only chance to see if turning into Padfoot would be his sanctuary from the nightly madness. Both Sirius and Regulus sat on their back haunches, hoping the dementors would pass by without questioning why a cat and dog wouldn't be chasing each other around madly.

Sirius was cringing inside of his dog form, waiting for that painful, empty feeling to consume him. But nothing came. Everything was cold and silent. The dementors didn't even look at the two household pets sitting ever so patiently. When each one had passed in their depression parade, Sirius and Regulus turned back.

"That's incredible. I didn't feel a thing," Sirius said breathlessly. Regulus nodded.

"That's probably why I've been able to get around so easily," Regulus reasoned.

Sirius rubbed his forehead with his palm.

"You should go. My roommate will be back soon. He shouldn't even have been gone this long."

"Sirius, I am sorry," Regulus didn't bother to waste more time apologizing, but he felt remorseful still. "But I won't disappoint you."

Back into a cat Regulus turned, easily slipping through the bars and striding down the hallway, returning to whatever crevice Regulus had found to sneak in. Sirius wished he'd asked how to get out but if he did manage to escape, where would he go? Black buried his face in his hands, knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Thank you reviewers! I feel very tired because it is Father's Day, 12 at night. I'm gonna sleep until 3 in the afternoon two days from now. Actually, I have to get up early tomorrow to go to my friend's house and we're going to write horrible slash fics about unlikely HP pairings. . . You think that's funny but I'm dead Sirius. Haha! Did you get that? I used the sound of Sirius' name to replace the word "serious." I'm so clever. I bet no one has done that before.

And while I'm being passive aggressive, I'd like to systematically . . . HUG each one of you who put alerts on my story and didn't review. That was especially nice. Now lets you know who those people are so that I can learn their pennames and go to their houses at 3 AM and hoola hoop on top of them as they sleep, while singing Enya. She IS rocking out. Oh yes, I have to mention my partner fic.

My friend and I are going to be pretentious assholes and pretend we're better than everyone on the HP fandom by writing absolutely ridiculous pairings that are both random and punctual. I will probably enjoy writing them more than you will enjoy reading them, but I guess that's your call. It's called THESE BOOKS ARE by TzatzikiBakonz. It features Percy/Umbridge, Pansy Parkinson/Parvati Patil/Padma Patil (that's PPPPPP for short), Voldemort/Snape/Quirrel (AXIS OF EVIL!!), Myrtle/Ron, Crookshanks/Minerva, and Black family/incestual band of hillbillies. I look forward to seeing you there!


	4. Envious of Freedom

**Prisoner Grim**

By Spectra16 (Oscar Wilde: The last living homo erectus.)

A/N: Chapter fours are for scene kids. And media whores. In homage to that, I'd like to ask everyone a very important question. I want to know if anyone wants me to write about how/what Remus is doing. I didn't want to, but I also had a very irrational reason for that.

I suck at writing and I am totally useless without a beta reader. My current beta reader is revolting (as in revolution, not grotesque) and only excepts blood sacrifice as payment, which is difficult to keep up with each week. My backup beta decided to grow a homemade conscious in her kitchen (same company that brought you Chia pets), so she's out until she comes to her senses and realizes how sinfully Awesome SBRL is. I thought I should share this with everyone so that I have a decent excuse for sucking.

Songs: Somewhere Only We Know by Keane AND Brothers on a Hotel Bed by Death Cab for Cutie.

Disclaimer: I am not a human slave. I do not abide by every laden rule. I am, however, deathly afraid of angry Anglicans who own the rights to Harry Potter. And for that, I will DISOWN my work here as if it were an unwanted red-headed step-child.

P.S.-YES I AM HAVING A MAJOR STROKE OF GENIUS AND IT HURTS BECAUSE IT'S COMING OUT ALL AT ONCE.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Four: Envious of Freedom

Tom Turner's hands nervously twitched constantly. Thick, wispy eyebrows were pointed downwards at all times. He was thin and bitter, short with unhealthy feet. There was an unholy air of mystery around the man, supposedly because he'd done something so wrong that landed him in Azkaban, fifteen years to the day. No one knew what it was, but they respected him for not completely losing his mind all that time. He definitely was crazy, but most Azkaban veterans were admitted some sort of special treatment by year 10 at the latest. Tom almost never left his cell, although it should be obvious to everyone now that prisoners came and went as they pleased unless they were on lockdown. Turner's breaths sounded as if he was an asthmatic, painful shrill and short. Premature gray hairs streaked his once hazel nut hair. And while most of the Azkaban convicts were from wealthy pureblood families, Turner's parents were muggles.

The youngest therapist in Azkaban was always nervous when he went to speak to Turner. Algernon tried to appear stronger by puffing his chest out and sitting straight while Turner attempted to talk to him. Tom could see the therapists anxiousness but he ignored it. Most of his counselors were like that over the years. He'd seen so many that came and went, it didn't matter to him.

"Lovely day," Turner said conspicuously. Dr. Blight didn't really know how to take this. He wondered if Tom was being overly passive aggressive. Over time, the doctor noticed how envious the prisoner was becoming; Envious of freedom.

"Does the nice weather make you happy, Mr. Turner?" Dr. Blight asked, making sure that his voice didn't quiver.

"Exceedingly," the man said darkly. Algernon's eye twitched. Turner curled into the corner of his room.

"Why don't you go outside?" Dr. Blight asked the older looking man. Silence. Blight was uneasy in the frightful silence. To end it, he left his previous question to sit.

"Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" He asked, wondering if this unstable, decrepit man would divulge his daily matters. Turner sat with his arms crossed.

"I saw a cat," He muttered. Dr. Blight almost laughed.

"You saw a cat. What did it look like?" Algernon decided to play Turner's stupid games. Turner looked up at Algernon with blazing eyes.

"It had pointed ears and a tail! What the hell else would it look like!? It was a damned cat!" Turner shouted, nervously wrapping his finger in his blanket. The doctor ran his fingers through his brown hair and raised his other hand.

"I didn't mean it like that. What color was it?" Dr. Blight asked. Tom grumbled.

"I don't fuckin' know! It was too dark. I just saw it run past. I was laying here in my bed. It lasted but a moment," Turner hissed. Dr. Blight looked up at him with glimmering blue eyes.

"Was it real?" He asked quietly. Turner shook his head distantly.

"Probably not."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sirius grinned widely, reaching from ear to ear as he handed two cartons of cigarettes wrapped in brown paper to the massive man sitting at a cafeteria table.

"Happy birthday, Sig!" He beamed. Sig looked up at Sirius and grinned thankfully.

"Thank you, Sirius," He replied in a somber way. Several other men sitting by the three friends looked at the new found excitement. There were quite a few people in the cafeteria eating lunch. Tussie pulled out a chair which scraped across the tile floor and he sat next to Sig.

Sunbeams splashed through the whitewashed windows, an unusual phenomenon at Azkaban. The Ministry of Magic had to qualms with using magic to control weather. On most days it rained, leaving the air muggy with humidity. When that had become to much trouble, since it takes particularly strong wizards to conjure storms, the days were gray and altogether unpleasant.

Once a year, maybe twice, the sun would come through, if only for a moment, or maybe for an hour. Nonetheless, sunlight was endorphin enducing. No one stayed indoors on days like this. Even Tom Turner would sit at the window, at the least.

"Come on then," Sirius grabbed his friend by his under arm and gently helped him out of the chair. Sig allowed him. Tussie narrowed his eyes as the two men made their way out of the cafeteria without even glancing at him. A pang of jealousy stung his heart, but he ignored it, not realizing what that feeling really was.

Past cells and through large doors they went, and when they opened them, a wall of light poured into one wing of the prison, blowing dust off the floors, illuminating each bit trapped in the bright rays.

The courtyard was filled with prisoners, some of them looking so much younger, so much more pleasant than usual. Guards littered the perimeter around the yard, but they weren't worried about any disturbances on a day like this.

Sig pulled one white pack out from the cart, which was totally enveloped in his large hand. He handed Sirius and Tussie a cigarette and took two for himself. Lighting them with a snap of his fingers, he put both in his mouth and inhaled. Sirius chuckled at the sight. Tussie's brown eyes fluttered in Sig's direction, showing a certain sense of contempt. Sirius hadn't noticed how quiet Tussie was.

"I can't believe how brilliant it is outside today," Sirius breathed in warm air for the first time in . . . quite possibly a year.

His long, black hair collected the heat, giving him a comforting feeling. Tussie looked over at Black when he closed his eyes, put his arms straight with his palms out flat, and looked as if he would fly away. A cool breeze ran through Sirius long hair, tossing the long black locks around his neck and face. His eyes remained shut. Tussie watched him, realizing that he was striking--beautiful even. His mouth opened slightly, speechless in the spectacle before him.

Sirius wouldn't have noticed Tussie watching him. He was already lost in thought.

_Sirius' hair tickled Remus face in the wind as he clung to the man's back. Sirius was reaching 70 MPH on a back road lined with trees that filtered golden sunlight. It was the heat of autumn that swept the two men up in a hurry to get on the road, on Sirius' old motorbike. Every turn was hugged by the old model, built in the late 60s. The road was grainy, but smooth all the same. Sirius' helmet was on Remus' head, a sign of chivalry which was often refused by the werewolf. Sirius wore biking goggles to keep the wind out of his eyes. Remus dug his nose into Sirius' shoulder, wanting to watch the road but also wanting to smell the leather of his jacket and the cologne on his neck._

_Remus' arms embraced Sirius so tightly, occasionally getting nervous at how fast Sirius would drive when he was thinking. He'd look away at the mossy ground whizzing by, at each thin tree parallel to the next tree. Orange and yellow leaves danced in the air as they fell to the ground. The long road seemed to go on forever in a straight line. _

_Another tight curve brought Remus' grasp a little harder around Sirius. Black smiled to himself and pushed down on the acceleration a little further. The engine roared harder through the infinite quiet of nature. It sent a pleasing force of vibration through both men. Remus scooted closer to Black's body, straddling him tighter._

_When the nearly perpetual line of trees ended, an blue sky opened before the motorists. A perfect circle of light shown from above, unclouded. The countryside was filled with tall grass and farm land. A tiny mauve farm sat on a hill miles away, yet it was the clearest and closest thing to the road. Remus pulled his eyes away from the road to see each long blade of grass pass by at alarming speed._

_"How fast are we going?" Remus shouted. Sirius shrugged._

_"Eighty. Maybe," Sirius smirked, unbeknownst to Remus. Lupin's heart sunk a little then, suddenly becoming nervous again. When his embrace became a death grip, Sirius barked a laugh._

_"There's nothing to worry about, Moony!!" He shouted back and stood on the pipes, his nose to the wind._

_"SIRIUS! SIT DOWN!" Remus' arms were wrapped on Sirius' pelvis now, trying to tug him back down. Sirius closed his eyes and pulled up on the handles. The front wheel lurched forth into the air, and back down again._

_"SIRIUS, STOP!" Remus screamed. Sirius laughed again and yanked on the handles once more. The first wheel came off the ground and soon came the entire bike. Remus blanched as he realized they were flying, leaving feet between them and the ground. Sirius accelerated again reaching higher, well above the tall grass. Black whooped as Lupin's eyes went wide with shock and fear._

_"What the hell did you do, Sirius?" Remus shouted. Black took both hands off of the steering handles as if he was flying._

Two fingers snapped in Sirius' face. Tussie was pinching him and calling his name. Sig's eyebrow furrowed. Sirius broke from his trance and looked at his friend.

"Are you alright, Sirius?" He asked. Sirius put his hands down at his sides, not that they were erected very high. The breeze had faded but the sun was still shining.

"I'm fine," Sirius said shortly. Sig took his last drag and stomped out the cigarette. Tussie looked genuinely concerned for his friend. Sirius turned to Sig.

"If there's anything else I can do for you, let me know, okay Sig?" Sirius tilted his head as he looked up. Sig nodded and cracked a small smile.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Self-proclaimed coroner of Azkaban, H. C. Earwicker, strode through the main hall of Cell Block A. Two guards tailed him at his right and left. Behind him was Dr. Blight, adjusting his glasses and his pace in order to keep up with the highest of guard authority.

"As you can see, sir, all of the prisoners are in the Main Hall waiting. All except one who hasn't left his cell for . . . Oh, about-," Dr. Blight was cut off by Earwicker's raised hand.

"That's fine," He spoke from the deepest part of his throat. Dr. Blight looked down at the floor, embarrassed and nervous. Respectfully, the man was Algernon's boss and very rarely did Dr. Blight ever directly speak to him. Earwicker also pleaded with the Ministry not to hire someone so young. Obviously, that fact alone made Algernon very uncomfortable. It made him all the more determined to prove the coroner wrong.

Once the four men entered the Main Hall, they saw hundreds of prisoners at metal chairs, chatting loudly with each other. The sight was frightening and humbling, and no amount of guard protection seemed to calm Dr. Blight nerves. He didn't have many enemies in Azkaban, and some of them he didn't even know. Other counselors were in charge of a good portion of Azkaban. They, unfortunately, were not much for social functions. Dr. Blight might've been the only employee that worked in Azkaban willing to volunteer his time.

Earwicker stepped up on the low stage and stood behind a wooden podium. He cleared his throat. He was a stout man with a mustache that screamed "manly." His head was bald and his gut hung over the belt of his pants. This sight caused gradual hushes in the crowd and finally silence. With hands behind his back, he opened his mouth to speak.

"After Dr. Blight's _incessant _pleasing with the Ministry for all of your mental health, the Minister has made arrangements for a sort of . . . Entertainment," Earwicker announced, trying his hardest to discredit Blight as unfit. Algernon ignored it. After hearing this, whispers were spread throughout the sea of men. Earwicker cleared his throat again. The whispers ceased.

"Barnadell and Sullivan are going to do a muggle magic show for you all. They will be filled in on what they can and cannot do. I expect you will enjoy their little show, regardless of how ridiculous it'll be," Earwicker snickered. Some others in the crowd also softly laughed.

"This sounds like fun," Sirius smiled. Sig looked over at blue eyes, sparkling in the newfound news. He wondered how Sirius could still seem to happy. The coroner kept talking while Graham leaned up from his chair to tap on Sirius shoulder.

"Have you ever seen Barnadell and Sullivan before?" Graham asked. Sirius looked back and shook his head. "They are the most ridiculous set of people you'll ever meet. They're like Penn and Teller meets PCP." Sirius blinked a few times, wondering what Bragg could've meant by that.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Sirius was busily making himself a word puzzle, although it was quite pointless when you knew all of the answers, when Tussie stormed into the cell with an angry look on his face. Sirius was laying on his stomach, looking up at Tussie.

"What's wrong?"

Tussie kicked the metal bed frame and sat down with his arms crossed.

"Ijustfuckinglostamonth'sworthofcigarettestothattamponsuckerinabet," Tussie said a bit too fast, his voice layered with venom. Sirius barely caught every word.

"Who did you lose to?"

"Graham. What a queer. Son of a bitch fuckin' raped me! We were betting on how many cups of urine/apple juice Collin could drink and I was off by four! FOUR DAMMIT! I'm gonna kill Graham!!" Tussie was livid. Sirius sat next to him, wincing at what Tussie had just told him.

"It sounds like it's less Graham's fault and more of Collin's, don't you think?" Sirius reasoned. Tussie fumed.

"He didn't have to act like a total prick about it!" Tussie pouted unconsciously. Sirius couldn't help but laugh at how childish Tussie sounded and appeared. Tussie looked up, irritated and unhappy, yet Sirius was the opposite.

As if all of the pent up anger and envy were released, Tussie threw a fist at Sirius' chin. It caught him just right, sending him to the floor in a heap. Sirius laid there, half in shock and half in a blackout. Tussie lunged at him on the ground and landed a few more angry punches into Sirius' slender face. Tussie gritted his teeth and straddled his friend on the floor. He ran his fingers through Black's long hair and clenched his fist. Tussie bashed his head into the floor several times before Sirius whimpered.

"Shut the fuck up, you son of a bitch!!" Tussie screamed and kept smashing his skull into the concrete floor. Blood from his forehead spilled, a brilliant shade of crimson that was so unusual to the gray interior of Azkaban. Sirius grabbed Tussie's wrist, trying desperately to stop him.

Sirius heard a guard calling for help before he passed out.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Drowsy eyes awoke to the sight of a high ceiling with real windows, not painted over. Rubber gloves and sterility clouded the room with an eerie stench. Nose muscles twitched at the smell of rubbing alcohol and ammonia. Light footsteps pattered around the room once in a while. There were a few simple beds to his left, all neatly made as if they hadn't been used in a while. But that wasn't likely.

Sirius sat up quickly, remembering what had happened. His thoughts flashed quickly through all of the battery he only now started to feel pulsating. Black's face felt swollen and a faint stinging reminded him about Tussie's strange outburst. It had happened so quickly, so irrationally. Sirius wondered if Tussie was stable.

A male doctor looked over, seeing that his only patient was awake. He hurried over and cleared his throat.

"Mr. Black, please lay down. I need to ask you a few questions," The doctor stood over Sirius, asserting as much authority as possible. His self confidence would've been much greater if he hadn't have known the Potters so closely at Hogwarts. Sirius looked up, not recognizing the man, and then laid down with his arms resting on his chest. He shivered at the sterile, cold air pouring from the vent up his head. Black's prison jumpsuit had been removed, so he pulled a light blue knitted blanket over himself, just above the largest tattoo on his chest.

"Are you cold?" The doctor asked stupidly, noticing goose bumps on Sirius' arm.

"Yes," Sirius stopped. The doctor went to a box on the wall and pressed a button a few times. Black wondered why there was muggle magic used in Azkaban. It might've been a security issue, but he wasn't given enough time to ask more mental questions.

"You had a concussion. We weren't sure how bad the repercussions would be," He said quietly. Sirius sat up again, clutching the blanket.

"Wait! Where's Tuss--Tucker?! Is he alright?" Sirius blurted. The doctor raised an eyebrow.

"He's . . . fine. Why? He was . . . Trying to kill you," The doctor responded. Sirius shook his head, feeling a little dizzy.

"No! He wasn't! He's just a little stressed. We all are! He isn't going to be punished is he? He's just a little man with something big to prove!! He isn't dangerous! The dementors. . .," Sirius' voice was getting higher when he stopped. The doctor swallowed hard.

"Mr. Harbringer was put in lockdown with the dementors. He isn't going to be punished beyond that--Other than the fact that this is his _second strike_," The doctor said the last two words gravely. Sirius' icy eyes widened and bore a hole into the wall across from him. After Black had been staring for a few moments, the doctor leaned closer. "Is something wrong, Mr. Black?" Without pulling his glossy gaze from the wall, he answered.

"That isn't right. He didn't mean it."

-.-.-.-.-.-

Tussie covered his head with his hands, digging each finger into his scalp in horror. He tried not to scream out, knowing that other prisoners would be able to hear his cries. Everyone sent on lockdown with dementors tried their best to maintain a certain sense of honor. It was a contest, a way to prove your mental endurance. All too often that bottling of emotions led to dangerous behavior.

Two dementors circled around him in a room with no windows. Dark cloaks draped over a bony figure, resembling the sign of death. Tussie let an unholy shudder run through his body. He was terrified, petrified, stupefied by the enclosure and the occupants.

The dementors whispered daunting words used to prey on the last bit of courage left in their victim. One leaned over the man who was on his knees, his face buried in the floor. The dementor began to suck what little happiness Tussie had in his soul. He was still saturated with guilt and fear for what he'd done to Sirius, and now the consequences were weighing harder on his heart. Now he had to worry about the next and last four years of his imprisonment in Azkaban and how he couldn't cause one more ounce of trouble, or he would executed.

Once Tussie went limp from exhaustion, the dementors stopped. The door to the room was opened by two guards, who grabbed Tussie up and stuffed a piece of chocolate in his mouth. Once a bit of the chocolate had been ingested, and Tussie could open his lazy eyes, he was thrown back into the room. The door slammed behind him. He looked up at the two dementors, hungry for more.

Tucker wasted the rest of his energy to throw himself at the door, pounding and shouting, begging to be free.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Dr. Blight looked into the dark eyes of a man with a pointed beard, quite a sinister look about him. The man's sleeve was rolled up, uncaring of the exposed Dark Mark on his arm, which was static. Dr. Blight could hardly keep his eyes off of it, almost worried that the snake wrapped in the skull's mouth would pop out at him at any second. Igor Karkaroff noticed the therapist's fear.

"It surprised me," Karkaroff started. "How Barty Crouch would send his own son to Azkaban. I almost thought it was romantic and yet, cruel. I didn't think anybody would believe me. But Junior nearly threw himself into the arms of the Ministry, begging for forgiveness. . ." Karkaroff smiled, showing off yellowed teeth. "It was as if he was begging to be rid of the hovering cloud that is the Dark Lord."

Algernon noticed how Igor's morale had changed within the few days since he'd testified to the Ministry and been given a pardon because of his exposing Barty Crouch's son. He would be leaving within the next few days, the same day Barty would be coming in. Igor continued his rant.

"Of course, I was trying to pull Severus into all of this, but Dumbledore had to spoil it all. Snape is the worst of us all. The little traitor, he is! I'm going to find him when I get out of here . . . And wring his little-"

"Sir! Please," Blight begged. "You will have only just gotten out of prison. You can't tell me you're going to commit a murder right after you've left this place!" Igor flashed a devilish grin.

"I don't know what I'll do."

Dr. Blight foolishly let those words ring throughout the cell. He didn't know what to say. This man was a loose canon, and the Ministry was letting him out now? Blight was letting himself get creeped out. Igor traced his beard down to the end of the split hairs. The doctor tried very hard not to watch Karkaroff's every move.

"Is there anything else you want to talk about other than revenge?" Blight winced.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Sirius sat in his cell, alone with a black eye and plenty more cuts and bruises. He didn't tell the doctor he felt dizzy or overly exerted because he didn't feel it was important. Nothing was important now, except apologizing to Tussie. Sirius didn't even realize how pathetic he was now, at the mercy of a man who didn't care. He picked up his piece of paper and charcoal under his mattress and continued his last crossword.

His concentration was broken when a guard came by and opened Sirius' cell.

"You have a visitor, Black," He muttered. Sirius' eyes danced and his heart fluttered, hoping and praying in an instant that it was Remus. A tall wizard walked through, his white beard nearly touching the floor. Sparkling eyes behind crescent moon glasses scanned Sirius. A blue cloak with tiny shining stars lightly draped across the concrete floor. Black was in shock at his guest, not believing that Albus Dumbledore would look at him again the way he was.

"Please let us alone," Albus shooed away the guard. He walked away and once his footsteps seemed faint and distant, the Hogwarts headmaster pulled a tiny square of foil from his pocket. The piece glistened at Sirius in Dumbledore's outstretched hand, and Dumbledore's eyes were intense yet friendly.

"Dumbledore-" Sirius started but was silenced by Dumbledore's nod. Sirius took it and unraveled it. The prisoner was shocked to find a small piece of dark chocolate. Black gingerly bit a tiny piece off, averting his embarrassed eyes. Dumbledore rested his hands on his thighs, sitting across from Sirius on Tussie's bed.

"Regulus told me about your revelation," Dumbledore whispered, barely audible. Sirius grimaced.

"Did he also tell you about his?" Sirius asked bitterly, referring to his brother being a Death Eater. Dumbledore nodded.

"Both him and Snape-"

"SNAPE?!?! THAT SLIMY GIT IS IN A LEAGUE WITH-" Sirius was silenced by Dumbledore's instinctive reaction to tower over him, as he once did in his office at Hogwarts, during Sirius' sixth year.

"SILENCE!" Dumbledore's voice vibrated in haste. The sound revived memories Sirius had tried to repress of the night that he'd almost sent Snape to his death--to the Whomping Willow. Dumbledore calmed down, but stood over Sirius all the same. "Severus Snape is completely capable of taking care of your brother. You may perpetually see Regulus as your little brother, but I assure you, he's just as reliable a you once were. You _were_ reliable, Sirius. But you were blind sided by Peter."

"I thought Remus-"

"I know what you thought! James and Lily didn't ask you to think! They asked you to keep a secret! You didn't need to give it to Peter!!" Dumbledore was yelling now, sending shivers up Sirius' spine. "How could you _ever_ suspect Remus?!"

"BECAUSE HE BETRAYED ME!" Sirius shouted, unable to endure Dumbledore's painful guilt trip. The wizard breathed in and looked at Sirius suspiciously.

"What do you mean?" Dumbledore's voice returned to it's syrupy sweet, soft tone. Sirius circled his ring finger and looked at the floor.

"I'm no fool, Dumbledore. You know exactly what I mean," Sirius said edgily. Albus sighed.

"I do, Sirius. But it's no reason to suspect your friend of something so . . . Unlike him. I almost think . . . You gave the secret to Peter to make him jealous," Dumbledore accused. Sirius nodded.

"I doubt anyone can pull the wool over your eyes, Albus," Sirius smiled sadly, and then jerked up. "Does anyone else know?" Dumbledore shook his head.

"There's a lot of suspicion. Only the dead know all truths."

"And Remus? How is he? Is he well?" Sirius asked anxiously. The wizard pressed his lips together.

"I wish I could say he is. Honestly, Sirius, you can't assume Remus is in better spirits than you."

"He's not in Azkaban! He should be!" Sirius felt angry, his idealistic image of Remus shattered with one sentence from someone who would've seen him recently. Dumbledore stepped forth and rested his hands on Sirius' thin shoulders. His gaze had no sparkle, no sign of escape.

"Remus lost four of his closest companions within months of each other. You know society today. Muggles hire werewolves but require muggle degrees. I offered him every job I could think of, but you know Remus--he's too self-conscious to accept any of them. He's in despair, Sirius!"

"Tell him about Peter! Tell Remus I'm innocent! Let him visit me, for Merlin's sake!" Sirius' lip quivered and a tear rolled down his cheek. Dumbledore shook his head.

"We have to wait, Sirius. Wait for Peter to resurface. He'll turn up somewhere. No one will believe either of us if we don't find Peter first," Dumbledore put his arms at his sides and reached in his pocket. In his slender hand was a small crystal glass and a shimmering handkerchief. Sirius looked at it curiously, cocking his head like a dog might. Dumbledore smiled at the sight.

He showed Sirius the contents in the cup. Swirling blue liquid entrapped a thin stream of memory. Sirius knew it immediately as a miniature pensieve.

"Now, I know you'd probably rather have a different memory of Remus," Dumbledore joked, "But I found this one in my conscious, and it seemed like an appropriate gift from me to you." Dumbledore turned the handkerchief around and draped it over the cup, making it disappear. Sirius smiled widely as his eyes flickered up to Dumbledore's.

"Thank you, sir."

Dumbledore looked back at Sirius, who was already intensely gazing into a memory the two of them shared. Dumbledore smiled as he left.

-.-.-.-.-

A/N: Wanna know what's in the pensieve? WELL TOO FUCKING BAD. (sweetly) That's for the next chapter! It's my favorite scene in this story. It's quite sweet and sad at the same time. Like Chinese chicken! Except when I say "sad" I mean sour.

Also, I'd like everyone to know I've done my homework. Now, I know making jail visit arrangements are no big deal, especially for schools, but most of the more alarming "local color" stories about the goings on in Azkaban are true. Sirius' cousin's story was true. There's a turning point of the story that's based on a true story. I just wanted to say that it's not my own sick imagination at work.

I also looked through all of the books for whenever Crookshanks in mentioned (thank God for e-books and control F) and the entire third book SCREAMS RegulusCrookshanks. Just read PoA again. Trust me.

Rekahneko- Angsty, sad, and quite demented? Why thank you! Those are appreciated qualities in the HP fandom. I'm confident when I say you should look forward to more of that wholesome stuff.

Anti-Nostalgic- Why do I have two reviews? That's a good question. It might have something to do with the fact that people don't like to read. Especially stories that are almost 20,000 words without any sign of the end. Thank you for reviewing! Now I have four!

Autumn Saffron-I'm afraid to point out that you are not mistaken. This story isn't "extremely well-written." But it also isn't in script format, which makes it easier to read. I'm 17. I've been writing since I was 12. I should hope five years of torment from other authors on would've straightened me out somewhere along the line. Five years of writing at least an hour a day has helped too. Thank you for your compliments. I try very hard not to make dialogue suck. I don't like plot development in dialogue, I don't like unlikely phrases, I don't like stupid banter. I'm proud of my dialogue. About the yaoi, though--I will write more, hopefully in the next chapter. I just feel awkward writing in random sex flashbacks if they don't have any rhyme or reason. Thanks for reviewing.

autumn145- (Eh? Autumn Saffron and autumn145. Oh, sorry.) OMG I think I will update soon! This is so sad. It's angst. Without the whiney music. Or the skull t-shirts. You need to know what happens? Shit happens. I update faithfully, as you will see. This story will be completed. (I've done it before. It's not impossible.) You want more smut too? Oh, what a surprise. (hands on hips) Now, I didn't think anyone reading Harry Potter would want to read smut, but apparently I was terribly mistaken.


	5. Only In Death Is There Truth

**Prisoner Grim**

By Spectra16 ("Welcome to Walmart! Harry's dead."-Conan O'Brien)

A/N: I am prepared to make a statement.

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I'd make Ron die to save Harry's life from Voldemort in the seventh book, because he deserves the good PR. And I'd also make it so that Snape killed Dumbledore on a demand from Albus himself. Because of this, Dumbledore rises from the ashes like his phoenix. It's kind of coincidental that Snape claimed to know a potion that "could put a stopper on death." Hermione would reveal herself to be a man. Furthermore, Sirius Black would have a little mirror thingy to talk to Harry, who would also be considerably LESS WHINEY. And Merope Gaunt would get clotheslined with a brick. Fred and George would go on to be the Ministers of Magic. And everybody who had something coming to them would get it right in the pie! It should be a happy ending to a shitty run, just like the Sopranos.

Good Remus Music: Metallica's S and M version of **Of Wolf and Man** work well. I love Audioslave and they have too good songs for this story--**The Curse** and **Man or Animal**. I thought it was kind of strange how both of these songs were on the same CD. **The New Zero **by Rasputina is about a werewolf as well. I love Rasputina. Their new CD is amazing!

Good Sirius Music: I have a lot of Led Zeppelin that I've never listened to. So when I finally got curious enough to listen to **Black Dog**, I bitch slapped myself for being so retarded. It's sensual, badass, and fits Sirius perfectly. Rowling must be a LZ fan. **Man or Animal** by Audioslave also works for Sirius. But the best song for Sirius is **Paint It Black** by Type O Negative. I know it isn't Rolling Stones but this version suits Sirius better.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Five: Only In Death Is There Truth

_Towers of papers filled the room where important figures of the Ministry of Magic did not. Dumbledore was most certainly there, looking at the prisoner in question, one he'd taught at Hogwarts. Barty Crouch sat a few feet away from the headmaster and was leaning back, whispering to the Minister of Magic. Walburga Black sat behind them, looking quite haughty instead of sad, like any mother would. Regulus, who was barely twenty, looked mortified sitting next to his controlling mother. His lips twisted, his eyes intense as he gazed at his brother in a cage. The cage was lined with spikes so that he could barely move. Shackles bound his arms and feet. Sirius looked up at his family, realizing what a mess they were and how horribly life had been turned. They were supposed to be the ones on trial, not him._

_Murmurs swept through the room. Sirius' eyes followed everything that moved, seeing his extended family, a few classmates he hadn't seen for years, people he'd never known who all came together for one reason: to put him in Azkaban. Madam Rosmerta was crying softly in a corner, reminiscing about the days when James Potter and Sirius Black would sit down at the bar, smiling deviously and drinking. Hagrid stood in a corner, not taking a seat in the tiny room because of his size. _

_From all around him, angry stares and glances moved in his direction. Sirius felt naked in front of all of these people. He had been standing with his legs locked, which in turn made him a little dizzy. He started to sway too far and into the spikes. He winced and stood straight uncomfortably. _

_"Order. Order!" Barty Crouch shouted. The whispers hushed and ceased. Crouch read from a piece of parchment. "We are here on behalf of the murder of twelve muggles and Peter Pettigrew, along with the betrayal of Lily and James Potter to the Dark Lord. Sirius Black, how do you plead?"_

_"Not guilty!" Sirius said hastily. Dumbledore bit his lip. Walburga watched her son squirm under the pressure._

_"Can you tell all of us here about what happened _in midday_ during that incident in which several people saw you use one killing curse on all of them?" Crouch asked harshly. Sirius choked._

_"I don't know what happened! I went to meet Peter to confront him. I had been the secret keeper until I didn't feel safe anymore. I gave it to Peter! He convinced me he could handle it! Unless he told someone else the secret-"_

_"We know about your _theories_, Mr. Black. And we find them hard to believe, considering Peter Pettigrew is DEAD. You obliterated him! There was nothing left except a finger!" Crouch shouted. Dumbledore furrowed his brow, sitting rigidly in his seat._

_"Perhaps you should let Sirius finish his story," He said gently. Crouch turned to him with an agitated look._

_"Perhaps he's told us his story time after time and we're not buying it anymore than the day he conjured it!" Crouch turned to Sirius, who was looking up at his younger brother with lonesome, fearful eyes. "Is there anything you'd like to say that hasn't been said already? By admitting your loyalty to He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and exposing another Death Eater, we can give you a lesser sentence."_

_Sirius lashed out with a horrid scream._

_"The day I admit to something so disgusting and disgraceful is the day I become a mindless drone for the family who raised me!" Sirius spat and looked up at his mother with a hate-laden gaze. "They're followers of the Dark Lord's ways! I've done nothing wrong! Nothing!"_

_"Calm down, Mr. Black," Crouch raises his hand. Sirius' chest rose and fell. He was livid, unable to hold in his grief, his pride, and his sanity. Everyone in the room watched nervously. If one man could kill thirteen people with one curse, was it possible for him to escape from one cage?_

_"You have to understand, this is your last chance to redeem yourself. We'll move onto the witnesses," Crouch announced. Sirius shivered as he looked to the witness stand, symbolically empty. _

_"I have nothing more to say," Sirius muttered audibly enough for everyone in the small room to hear. Crouch nodded, pausing for a moment, finding this to be very strange. He'd sentenced a handful of Death Eaters, and it was customary for them to go back on each other, to tattle in a sense. It was a chain reaction of betrayal, and considering there were many of the Dark Lord's followers about, why wouldn't Sirius say even one name?_

_"Will Rubeus Hagrid please step forward?" Crouch asked. Hagrid nodded and stepped forth onto the stand. Sirius looked at him with hollow, empty eyes. He knew Hagrid would defend him. He'd seen the sad state he was in when they'd met at the Potter's home after the Dark Lord's attack. Hagrid stood dutifully with his arms plastered at his sides._

_"Tell us your testimony, Mr. Hagrid," Barty spoke agitatedly, looking down at his notes as if he had no intention of listening. Hagrid nodded nervously and started quickly._

_"Well, I've known Sirius since he was in school. Him and James were best friends, always attached at the hip. Fine students, brilliant pranksters-"_

_"Please just share your story about the night of the murders," Crouch interrupted. Hagrid looked over at him, uneasier than before. His eyes flashed at Sirius, who caught them, but Hagrid hurriedly looked away._

_"What I was getting at, sir, was Sirius didn't seem at all like a . . . a Death Eater," Sirius smiled at Hagrid's words. "He was in Gryffindor. Gryffindors don't just turn around and follow the Dark Lord. Bu t. . ."_

_Sirius' pupils dilated as Hagrid's confident tone turned to uncertainty. His heart dropped and pulsating with a stinging sensation. He wasn't sure if he was having a panic attack._

_"When I arrived with Dumbledore that night, Sirius was already there. As if he already knew, y'know? That worried me at first. He was silent and just . . . He'd found Harry and was holding him. Dumbledore rushed to him and took the child. He already knew Harry would go with-" Hagrid stopped, realizing he wasn't allowed to disclose the location in front of Sirius. "Sirius offered to take him in. He was very insistent. That made Dumbledore and I suspicious immediately," Hagrid hated the words pouring from his mouth, making the evidence damnable and not in Sirius' favor._

_"I didn't know what to do! I had to take action!" Sirius pleaded, looking at Crouch._

_"Silence! Let Mr. Hagrid finish."_

_"Please, Rubeus! You know the truth! I needed some way to redeem myself by protecting Harry! I was distraught!" Sirius shouted, sending shivers up everyone's spine. Crouch pulled his oak wand from his pocket and pointed it at Sirius._

_"Silencio!" He muttered. Sirius continued to silently scream. His hands reached through spikes, grazing his hands. He clenched and yanked on the bars, pushing crimson blood through the fine cuts. Hagrid found it difficult to watch Sirius' mouth spelling out curses and frantic sentences. He looked away from Black and at the audience._

_"Dumbledore decided it would be best if I took Harry with Mr. Black's flying motorcycle. So I did. Minerva McGonagall and Albus met with me there. Sirius didn't come with though. He said he had business to tend to," Hagrid breathed in deeply, looking back at Sirius, who had a tear rolling down his cheek. "The last time I saw Sirius, he was stumbling down the street. And the next day, I heard about Peter."_

_Walburga shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Sirius' knees almost buckled._

_"That's all I have to say," Hagrid said solemnly and walked back to where he was standing prior. Sirius' eyes never lifted from the witness stand._

_Madam Rosmerta was next to speak. She told the heartwarming story of how the Marauders would come into Three Broomsticks to order butterbeers, and how they'd laugh in the corner on trips to Hogsmeade. She dropped a few hints that she also saw them there when they weren't supposed to be out of school. Sirius swore he could see a tiny smirk on Dumbledore's face during the first half of Rosmerta's story, but it faulted when she told a certain story that Sirius had been praying wouldn't come up._

_"I was a bit worried about Mr. Black once when he came in with his friends. They were all laughing and talking about a prank they must've pulled on one of the teachers. Sirius was holding his wrist and pretending to be in pain. He ran to me, unable to say anything with a straight face. He showed me the mock Dark Mark on his arm. It was rather silly. The snake had a smiley face. I understand it was a joke, but it's not . . . Politically correct to poke fun at a subject so delicate," Rosmerta tugged at her scarf. _

_"Only someone who doesn't fear He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named would be a follower," Barty Crouch made note. Dumbledore stood up._

_"That is untrue, Mr. Crouch! It is either ignorance and intense courage to joke about the mark of Voldemort," Dumbledore exclaimed. "Death Eaters do not mock their master."_

_"That may be, Albus. But I'm glad you brought that to our attention, Madam Rosmerta," Crouch looked at the fear stricken woman. She gave Sirius one last guilty look before stepping down. His heart panged with a horrific feeling of claustrophobia in the cage, and in life. He was suffocating with each damning story from people he thought he knew. Sirius wondered when someone would defend him. _

_"Will Walburga Black please take the stand?" Crouch announced. A frail, stern looking woman draped in what looked like a dress someone would wear to a funeral. A black veil covered her face, attached to an extravagant, ugly, expensive hat. Her eyes locked on her eldest son, who maintained the spiteful glare. She cleared her throat in the box and began._

_"My son has always been a bit of a rebel. He ran away from home when he was sixteen. He told us our good, pureblood ways were not enough. We didn't try to communicate with him or see him, thinking him to be too far gone," Walburga pretended to be heartbroken for a brief moment. "He mentioned, before he left, that had he the power to destroy our family, he would."_

_Sirius silently screamed again. Although no one would hear him, everyone could read the simple words on his lips. _

_THAT'S. A. LIE._

_"He was a difficult boy to bring up. He was always trying to defy us. He hit me once, after I'd yelled at him to stop joking about the Dark Lord," Walburga jumped on the bandwagon. Sirius looked enraged, unable to move, unable to speak. From behind Sirius, a tawny haired man shuddered, almost able to feel Sirius' emotions._

_"When he'd killed Peter, he came back to Grimmauld Place and asked for money and apparently wanted to speak to my _other_ son, Regulus. He kept talking about the Dark Lord and acting like he had something very heavy on his shoulders. He wouldn't tell me what happened."_

_Sirius whipped his head toward Crouch to his right. He articulately mouthed the words, "May I speak?" Crouch shook his head quickly._

_"Did he speak to Regulus that night?" Crouch asked. Walburga nodded. Crouch turned around to her clearly frightened son who'd begged her not to involve him._

_"Would you please share you testimony, Regulus?" Crouch asked and turned around, as if he only asked to be courteous. The younger brother started shaking violently as he weaved through the people on the elevated seats. He walked past Dumbledore, past one of his old professors, Slughorn, and to the stand. Sirius breathed in, wondering if Regulus would tell the truth, considering his mother most likely had his balls in a vice._

_"My brother didn't say a whole lot . . . You know . . . When he came home," Regulus started, stuttering over easy words. He licked his lips._

_"Tell us what he did do. What did he say?" Crouch asked, setting his arms on his desk. Regulus looked around very anxiously._

_"Well, he said he'd done something horrible, something he couldn't discuss," Regulus looked at Sirius' already empty eyes. Sirius came to the sad realization that no one would stand up for an accused Death Eater. Not even his brother. "He was being vague about it all. I didn't know what to think. I never imagined him as a Death Eater." Regulus changed his story to make Sirius sound more innocent, but it wasn't helping. It was so clear to everyone there that nothing could be said to turn this case around. Sirius may have been in brief denial, but he could see the situation for what it was now. Thirteen deaths could not be easily forgotten._

_A brief silence fell throughout the room with Regulus as the culprit. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. Digging his hands in his pockets, Regulus looked up in Sirius' eyes in only a way two brothers could connect. In a last chance to speak to his brother in person, Regulus sadly smiled as he spoke, as if all of his fears had been lifted._

_"Sirius started mumbling incoherently, something about a cat chasing a rat. I didn't understand what he meant, obviously. He's always been a bit off his rocker, you know. I worry about him," Regulus said as he left the stand. Crouch allowed it. Sirius watched his brother walk back to his seat, knowing exactly what he meant. That night, when Sirius wanted to speak with Regulus, he'd asked him to help him escape an almost certain sentence to Azkaban. _

_The room went silent again. Crouch flipped through a few papers. Sirius assumed this final hearing was over. Everyone was shifting in their seats, stretching their legs and coughing. Sirius struggled to keep standing in his uncomfortable position, spikes lightly picking at his back. Dumbledore scooted past people to whisper in Crouch's ear. Sirius watched tiredly, yet curiously, wondering if Albus would speak for him._

_"We have one last person who wishes to speak," Crouch announced as Dumbledore walked back to his seat. Sirius prayed this would be someone with him, not that it would matter. Crouch saw that the man was already standing up to walk to the stand. Sirius looked around, waiting for a name. He heard shuffling footsteps from behind him. But his eyes deceived him. Light brown hair was barely combed, his robes catching the air. He dared not look at his lover. Sirius painfully grabbed the bars again, begging to be closer._

_"Remus Lupin, what do you have to say?" Crouch asked with grand authority. Remus' amber eyes flashed up at Sirius, who was awestruck. Dumbledore had told him Remus went into hiding because the Ministry of Magic assumed Sirius was after all of his closest friends. Lupin looked down and back up again._

_"Only that Sirius is not guilty," Remus uttered. Barty Crouch tilted his head._

_"Do you have any evidence that we should know about or is this going to be a sentimental moment that we can all tune out?" Crouch asked sardonically. Remus shot a fiery glare at the man and coughed._

_"A lifestyle should be evidence enough to save a man from this horrible fate!" Remus retorted. "I've known Sirius since we were boys. He hated his family because they were unfair, Dark Lord worshipping oppressors! He didn't rebel for the sake of rebelling!" Remus started. Crouch pressed his lips together, silent was once. _

_"After school, Sirius and I chose to be roommates. I've lived with him since then. Never did he ever show signs of being a follower. He never ever hinted it, or tried to talk me in to it. We were- are best friends. We shared everything together. I would've noticed somewhere down the line that he was going off on his own or acting suspiciously. We both look out for each other," Remus said sadly. Barty lifted his head._

_"You do realize that by defending him, and not seeing him for what he is, you are opening yourself up for investigation of these murders," Crouch stated. Remus nodded._

_"That's fine. Neither of us did it," Remus spoke wisely. Sirius felt lovestruck and was in awe of Remus' bravery. He wanted to run to him and sweep him up in a lustful hug. Sirius yanked on the cage again, mouthing words Remus chose not to translate. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was pale with sickness. Sirius assumed there was a full moon recently. Remus continued._

_"The night our friends were murdered, Sirius and I watched a movie together. We sat in the darkness, eating popcorn, curled up on the couch. It was a funny movie. We laughed and had a good time. We both needed to relieve stress, since we were both worried about James and Lily. Death Eaters don't-" Remus choked on his words, trying to swallow the lump of tears in his throat. "They don't just watch a movie the night their friends are going to be killed."_

_The room was painfully silent. Remus sniffled and rubbed his eyes. Seeing Remus so distraught, so desperate to redeem his friend, Sirius started to cry. Silent sobs came from the man who could make no sound. Crouch bit his tongue, flinching at the newfound shrieks from Madam Rosmerta. Even Hagrid brought his hand up to wipe away a tear from his face. _

_It took every indecent fiber in Regulus' body to not stand up and shout his brother's innocence. Dumbledore, also, knew Sirius' time would come later in life. Sirius was one of the few who could not stand to be locked up in a cage any longer. He wanted to hold Remus for what he knew would be the last time. Crouch looked around, knowing that this was over. He slammed his gavel down once._

_"That settles it. Sirius Black is sentenced to Azkaban immediately for life," Crouch announced, picking up his papers and whispering into another man's ear. _

_Sirius reached out his hand to Remus, whimpering as his arm grazed the spikes again. Remus nearly jumped over the stand to grab him, but the cage started to lower into the ground. _

_Swallowed by the ground, Sirius stood on his tiptoes to see the last of Remus' amber eyes. Lupin stared at Sirius so intently, as if he was trying to drink in the sight of him enough to last him the rest of his lifetime. Once Sirius' head was barely above the floor, he mouthed the words, "I love you."_

_The floor closed. Remus sat there, staring at the spot on the floor where prisoners sat. His eyes were wide and empty. Dumbledore watched the young man from afar, seeing that most of the people had left already. Walburga and Regulus were in the last group. Regulus turned around to look at how beside himself Remus was. Dumbledore stepped down to Remus and rested a hand on his back._

_"Come on, Remus," He said softly. In an unholy burst of despair, Remus dropped to his knees and let a shrill out from deep inside his lungs. _

_Regulus was only so far outside of the room when he heard the ghastly cry from where he'd just come. It sent electric vibes throughout his body and wracked his brain. It would be something he'd never forget._

Tussie came back to his cell in a mental hand basket. He was shaking uncontrollably from his lockdown with the dementors. It wasn't unusual to hear voices or see things that weren't there in moderation, but Tussie clearly aw many things. Guards led him back to his cell, babbling and looking around as if he was possessed. The guards opened the gate, which Tussie went through. He didn't acknowledge Sirius' limp body in his own bed. Instead, he lay down with his eyes open wide, staring at the ceiling.

He'd lay awake for a while then, waiting for the dementors to do their midnight rounds. Tussie muttered something to himself, which made Sirius stir. The room suddenly went cold, not an uncommon phenomenon in Azkaban. Tussie pulled his blanket over his head and as soon as they went by the cell, he let out a blood-curling scream. Prisoners in neighboring cells awoke from their nightmares to a nightmarish shriek. Azkaban was a catch-22 of terror, a perpetual circle of uncertainty.

As soon as the feeling of horror came, it went. Tussie panted as he lowered the blanket to see a black dog in Sirius' place. There were stranger things surrounding him in the room.

And Tussie thought nothing of it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: I took most of the detail about the court from the GoF movie. I tried. This is a sappy chapter, I know, but I can't just please the more mature fans all the time. The fan girls need service too. Hell, they need more!, but their not getting it from me.

autumn145- I am fucking evil! I got my major in Antagonism Engineering from University of Ohio. I met some nice people there, and I got to shake hands with Professor Sauron!! I never actually had him for any classes, but I met him on the campus while I was eating a pita sandwich. He actually approached me! He's all like, "I love pita bread!" I got a picture with him too. I put it up on my Photobucket. (I'm actually. . . Kind of serious.)

Da Jazzman- Finally! Someone who understands me! Yeah, I'd rather see my story go up in flames rather than have it sit in a corner of a black hole in cyberspace. And you brought up a great point with the whole deal about Sirius and Remus meeting at some point in this story. WARNING: I have an artistic license, and occasionally it makes me an asshole. It's too early in the story to know, honestly. And yes Jazzman, I say things I don't mean. (wink)

Autumn Saffron- You like my plot development? (blush) Ahem. As you can see, Tussie isn't the nicest person. I don't want to spoil anything but keep this in mind: Circumstances change people. This is the moral of the story.

Anti-Nostalgic- You _love_ watching Sirius deteriorate? You might just need help! You're in luck. Dr. Spectra is in! Although I don't have a degree in the psychological medical field, I watch a LOT of House M.D. Actually, I can immediately diagnose you with INTENSE FLATTERY. It's easily curable and somewhat contagious. Don't kiss anyone for a week, unless your symptoms don't go away. Symptoms are fluttering eyelids, dry skin, diarrhea of the mouth, and the psychological need to buy presents for someone other than you. Here, take these placebos. You're going to need to refill your prescription once you take all of the pills. Take two a day, one when you wake up and one when you go to bed. Besides that, thank you for saying what you said about not being emo-crap.


	6. Cox and Box

**Prisoner Grim**

By Spectra16 (In Soviet Russia, door dumbles YOU!!)

A/N: OH CRAPPING POOPS! **REGULUS IS NOT CROOKSHANKS! **I was warned so many times and ignored all of your wonderful insights. I can't believe I didn't see this coming. The only reason why I'd take back my vow that Regulus is Crookshanks is if I definitely knew who Crookshanks was. And I do know. And it's not at all what I had hoped.

**It's Mundugus Fletcher. **I don't care if you don't believe me, but this is TRUE. You know how I searched for the name Crookshanks in the third book? Well there was once particular sentence that describes Crookshanks as bandy legged, and obviously, we all know Crookshanks ha orange hair. Well, in the sixth book, those same words are used to describe Mundugus. Of course it's him! Not what I expected, but it makes so much sense now, even what Sirius said about Crookshanks not trusting him at first. I feel so dumb. I'm sorry for getting everyone so riled up. I can admit when I'm wrong.

Oh, and in other news, I saw OOTP opening day. I planned to go at midnight, but that fell through. IT WAS AWESOME. The new director did a great job. Fred and George kicked so much ass. Dolores was perfect. Luna was a babe. **SIRIUS FUCKIN' DECKED LUCIUS. **And the best part was . . . Draco appeared a total of TWO times, each for about five second. I was a little bummed that Snape's bad memory lasted four times as fast as it did in the book. BUT the only part with Remus and Sirius together was adorable. They sat so close together. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THEY GET TOGETHER IN THIS STORY.

By the by, Barnadell and Sullivan are real magicians and their show is called . . . What I say it's called. I have no explanation for it either. During the show, it would be advised to listen to **1816, the Year Without A Summer **by Rasputina.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Six: Cox and Box

Sirius held up a dripping spoon of green soup, cupping his hand under it. Each drop of pea soup lightly plopped on his rough skin. Sirius' eyes were pleading and hopeful as he watched Tussie shake in his seat. His eyes were distant and didn't acknowledge his lover's presence. Sig watched Sirius make an effort to feed Tussie, which was becoming increasingly hard in the past few days. Sig wondered if it was depression or a physical illness.

Plastic forks clanked on the plastic tables as the prisoners ate and chatted quietly together. It was the day of the magic show, which had everyone a little excited. Sirius wished Tussie could enjoy it, and maybe it would help his morale, but at the moment, he just wanted to feed him. Sirius' fingers tightened around the spoon as he rubbed Tussie's back with his other hand.

"Come on, Tussie. It's delicious," Sirius lied. "Graham has really outdone himself today." With that comment, Sig unconsciously looked at the few prisoners behind the counter and in the kitchen. Graham Bragg was on duty for both things, popping in and out of the metallic doors as if he owned the place. Something about Graham rubbed Sig the wrong way, regardless of the fact that he'd done nothing wrong to him personally. He ignored Sirius' broken pleas for Tussie to eat and thought to himself. He inhaled his cigarette and pushed his tray of food away from him.

He watched Graham from afar, seeing him leaning up against the wall, talking with another man with a hair net on. His arms were crossed and his eyes bright with some sort of mix between deceptive optimism and suspicion. Once in a while, he'd tug nervously on his ear. Sig glanced at Sirius briefly, who set the spoon down and wiped his hand off, apparently having given up. Tussie swayed a little, licking his lips in thirst. Sirius grabbed Tussie's hand and squeezed.

"When do we have to meet in the Main Hall for the performance?" Sig asked quietly. Such a big man speaking so softly was pleasantly outlandish for Sirius.

"Later in the afternoon, I believe. Graham had been talking about it," Sirius smiled. Sig's nose twitched.

"I don't trust him, Sirius," He said darkly. Sirius' head tilt.

"Why not?"

"He's in a league with your cousin, Bellatrix. I've seen him talking with Rudolphus. You've said it yourself, Black, they aren't good people," Sig inhaled painfully. Sirius' brow furrowed.

"Just because he talks with Rudolphus doesn't mean he knows Bellatrix. He might not even know they're married. _I _sometimes talk to Rudolphus. Six degrees of knowing someone shouldn't label you. I know that best, Sig," Sirius whispered. Sig grimaced and nodded, not wanting to agree with Sirius.

"I'd watch yourself, Sirius. Please," Sig's voice changed to a tone that was foreign to Sirius. He thought for a moment what it might be, and then realized it was laden with _concern_. Sirius felt like he hadn't felt that in years, which was completely true. In the deep recesses of his mind, he wanted to outreach his hand and pat Sig on the back, as to comfort him. But he knew better.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Dr. Blight looked out over the Main Hall nervously. He'd never been so frightened in his life, to be honest, which was strange--considering he often shared the same 10x10 cell for an hour with the most dangerous men of his time. A few guard set metal chairs in lines for the prisoners to sit. A few movers and the muggle magicians themselves were setting the stage before the empty audience. Everything had to be perfect.

Algernon thought this was as good a time as any to introduce him to the two men who were constantly at each other's throats. Sullivan was an older gentleman with a beautiful head of white hair that showed no signs of receding. He was tall, draped in an expensive tweed vest and jacket. His hands were long and covered with exotic rings with gems as big as his eyes. He was a decorated man, to say the least, with every intension of showing off as much as possibly. His moustache was pulled tightly at the ends and looked as if he belonged in a western movie. He was not normal looking for a muggle, Algernon could tell, considering he was muggle-born. This was a secret of course. Very few prisoners at Azkaban would speak with someone they thought was inferior.

Barnadell was a younger man with light brown hair that looked swept back. His face was far less twisted than Sullivan's, his eyes shining and a tiny smile peaking through while his companion verbally abused him in earshot of everyone in the hall. He was dressed just as well; only a bright golden pocket watch seemed to beckon at everyone he passed by. It was impossible for it to not catch your eye. The gleam did not, however, take your eyes away from his bright red suede sneakers.

Algernon approached Barnadell instead of Sullivan simply because he looked more friendly. Sullivan was busily cussing and rummaging through a navy blue case painted with tiny yellow stars. Barnadell's emerald eyes flashed up at Algernon as he came forth, making him blush slightly. He stuck out his hand to be shaken by Barnadell, which he did.

"My name is Algernon Blight. I'm the coordinator of this event," He greeted. Barnadell smiled widely.

"I'm Barnadell. And this here is the Incomparably Miffed Sullivan," Barnadell joked, raising a hand to the man a few feet away. "He's my cynical counterpart." And with that, Sullivan stopped throwing things all over the stage and slowly turned around.

"Maybe if you weren't a completely worthless partner, I would be more agreeable," Sullivan snapped with his thick Scottish accent, and then turned back around to angrily search. Barnadell's smile faded into a shy smirk.

"I misplaced his flask. There wouldn't happen to be any whiskey available here?" Barnadell asked with caution. Algernon shook his head shocked. Barnadell looked crestfallen.

"We won't have any special lighting, will we?" He asked uneasily. Algernon shook his head again, embarrassed.

"No, I'm sorry. We didn't really go into detail in our letters," Dr. Blight said regretfully.

"That's alright. It's not necessary," Barnadell smiled. Algernon smiled back.

"Speaking of which, my owl didn't frighten you, did it?" Algernon asked. Barnadell stared at him blankly for a long moment but then understood.

"Oh! Yes! It was . . . Different," Barnadell sounded unsure. Blight nodded.

"Owls are the easiest way to communicate in the real-err. . . Wizarding world. I tried to convince the Ministry of Magic to allow me a phone here, but it was hard enough to get this," Algernon raised his arms to signify the performance. Barnadell's eyes never strayed from Algernon's. He crossed his arms, not angrily, but more as if he was hugging himself.

"You must care an awful lot about the prisoner's well-being to do this for them," Barnadell mentioned. Algernon smiled humbly. He then chuckled.

"If I don't, who will? The Ministry doesn't care about these people! Most of them never have visitors! It's not a goal to maintain sanity here," Algernon paused. "It makes my job so much easier when these men have a little bit of happiness once in a while."

Barnadell looked down at his shoes with a faint smile on his face. Sullivan cleared his throat and strode over to the two men, obviously jealous that they were talking like old friends. His lip twitched, moving his moustache.

"I trust this place will be safe enough. How many guards will be on hand?" Sullivan asked coldly. Blight swallowed.

"Everyone we have. It'll be perfectly fine," Algernon lied. Sure, the guards would be there, but if worse came to worse, the dementors would be called in, and these two muggle magicians would have to given a memory charm.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Sirius helped Tussie into the metal chair while Sig scanned the crowd for Graham. Still unreasonably paranoid, his talents in occlumency were giving him the most evident warning signs since he came to Azkaban. Sirius patted Tussie's hand as they sat together, looking at the flamboyant stage. Red curtains were draped everywhere. When he was 15, the Black family had gone to France. The stage reminded him of a Parisian matinee set. He half-expected clown puppets to drop from the ceiling and start dancing.

Everyone was abuzz. This was probably the first and last enjoyable moment in Azkaban any prisoner would have. The air smelled sweetly with butterbeer, which was being handed out at the door. Everyone had a tiny Styrofoam cup in hand. Sig's hand could've completely covered it. He sipped lightly as his eyes looked over everything. It was beautiful. A few lights were pointed at the stage and reflected off of the big mirrors that were the background of the stage. Regardless of the Parisian decoration, it hinted at an Indian influence. Bright pillows laced with gold were strewn about on the stage.

The guards were nearly invisible lined up against the wall with buzz batons in hand. It was only for show to keep the magicians in good spirits. Sirius looked around at the incredible security. He'd never known there were so many guards in Azkaban. Sirius looked back at Tussie who had his glassy stare on the back of the man sitting in front of them. Sirius leaned forward, whispering into Tussie's ear.

"Look at the stage, Tussie. Isn't it beautiful?" Sirius asked gently. Tussie's gaze floated up to the stage and back down.

"Yes, Sirius," Tussie spoke like a child. Sirius rubbed his back with one hand and looked up at the stage.

Graham, several rows in front, allowed his eyes to light up when both Barnadell and Sullivan came out. The captive audience clapped politely at the sight. Barnadell carried a single black and white wand, a muggle wand. Sullivan ruthlessly smiled with his hand in his pockets.

Dr. Blight bit his thumbnail as he watched the beginning of the show.

"Welcome to Cox and Box! We are Sullivan-" Barnadell gestured at his companion.

"And Barnadell," Sullivan pointed at his. Both smiled widely, like the entertainers they were. Sirius squinted; noticing that Barnadell's make up was so heavily caked on. His face was almost white while his cheeks were bright pink. His eyes were made to look bigger with eyeliner. But then Sullivan looked so normal; it was hard to understand the imbalance.

"We are glad to be here at Azkaban tonight," Sullivan spoke loudly, hoping his voice would carry. He spoke in a rehearsed way that was obviously to everyone, not that they cared. Barnadell gestured as big as he could.

"Why lie, Sullivan?!" He shrieked. There were a few chuckles in the audience. Sullivan nearly pouted.

"It seemed polite," Sullivan spoke in a reserved way. Barnadell shook his head.

"Before we begin, we'd like to thank the Ministry of Magic for pulling their heads out of their asses in order to allow Cox and Box!" Barnadell started clapping, encouraging everyone to join along. It wasn't necessary. Everyone was already in uproar, clapping, whistling, and laughing. Barnadell smiled widely, showing off his white teeth. Dr. Blight pulled his thumb out of his mouth and couldn't help but smile as well, even under all the nervousness.

"Also, we want everyone to know that we will ask for audience participation. There's no need to get crazy about it . . . No need for unforgivable curses," Sullivan announced. Dr. Blight's eyes shot open, wondering if the comment would set off the prisoners, but nothing happened. He sighed temporarily in relief.

"Please enjoy the show!" Barnadell put a hand in the air. Everyone clapped again. Sirius smiled and saw Tussie clapping lightly out of the corner of his eye.

The lights did not dim for dramatic effect. Instead, Sullivan looked at Barnadell's face, getting closer and closer.

"Hold on. There's something in your nose," Sullivan said, putting his finger in the younger man's nose. Barnadell looked scandalized. A few prisoners snickered at the awkwardness. Out from his nose, Sullivan pulled a rainbow ribbon. Sullivan looked at the audience, pretending to be shocked. He kept pulling, faster and faster.

A wave of rolled eyes raced through the audience. Once Sullivan had pulled a few yards of ribbon from Barnadell, it ended and he threw it on the ground.

"So that's where I put that," Barnadell muttered loudly enough for everyone to hear. Many of the prisoners resisted the need to yell something crude but knew better.

"Barnadell, honestly! You can't just stuff anything and everything you find up your nose! We have enough medical bills without you putting things in strange crevices of your body," Sullivan put his hand on his hips. Barnadell grimaced and rolled his eyes. Most of the audience laughed, the others still recovering from the ridiculous trick a child could perform.

But while the two magicians were bickering, the rainbow ribbon folded up like a snake. The tip was like a head, looking around at the audience. Everyone hushed, wondering what was going on. The ribbon slithered away, looking like a serpent. It went down the far left aisle, prisoners watching it.

"Fine! Whatever!" Sullivan spun around to grab the ribbon with a graceful movement. Without looking he swung down and tripped over himself.

"Where did it go? It was here just a moment before!" Sullivan's voice was layered with fake shock. Barnadell stifled a laugh. He was so unaccustomed to seeing Sullivan in this strange way. He was such an actor, so different from real life. It had been some time since they'd done a show together.

"Well, it couldn't have just crawled away! That doesn't seem likely," Barnadell shrugged as he exited stage and wheeled out a long box. The mirrors behind Barnadell reflected more of him in the octagonal formation they were in. Sullivan was busily standing on his tiptoes, trying to see the ribbon. He got on his knees and looked under the chairs. The ribbon weaved between the seats, leaving prisoners all around watching it.

"We need our first victim. Sullivan, won't you pick someone?" Barnadell tapped his magician's wand on the box that only a few people recognized that had a bit of muggle knowledge. Barnadell set the needle on a record that was playing gypsy music. The elder magician stood up with his hands on his hips.

"Nobody took the ribbon, right? We don't want the Ministry shitting a chicken because someone escaped via repelling out of a window," Sullivan scanned the audience. Everyone burst out into laughter. Barnadell cleared his throat. "Alright, alright. Who wants to help us?"

A handful of men raised their hand gingerly. Sirius was among them, eager and willing to enjoy himself. The ribbon emerged from the ground and wrapped itself around Dr. Blight's leg. Algernon face faulted and lightly tried to kick it off. Sullivan looked toward him, seeing the ribbon lace itself around the doctor. His eyes narrowed and he turned around to glare at Barnadell. The younger magician smiled innocently.

"Sir! What are you doing with that ribbon?" Sullivan called out, trying not to grit his teeth.

"I'm not sure! It just . . . Crept up on me!" Blight grabbed it but it coiled and hissed. It wrapped itself dangerously close to his inner thigh. Blight sweated as most of the prisoners laughed at him.

"Well, I guess we have our volunteer," Sullivan marched over to Dr. Blight and grabbed the ribbon and led him over to the stage. The audience laughed and clapped for the reluctant doctor.

"I didn't volunteer!" Algernon pleaded quietly. Sullivan rolled his eyes while looking away from the audience.

"The ribbon volunteered you."

Once Dr. Blight stood before the box, the ribbon went limp and floated to the floor. Graham carefully watched Barnadell's magician wand the entire time, seeing that he gave it a tiny flick just as the ribbon stopped.

"Give Dr. Blight a hand!" Barnadell grabbed Algernon's hand and raised it in the air. The prisoners clapped, still chuckling. Sullivan opened the top of the box.

"Get in," He ordered, his breath smelling of that whiskey Barnadell had talked about. Algernon didn't question him. He climbed up into the box and lay down.

"Put your head through the hole," Barnadell said, standing next to it. Blight nodded shyly and did so. There were two smaller holes at the other end, which he assumed was for his feet. He put them through a Sullivan slammed the box shut. Blight's forehead was beaded with sweat. Everything was making him nervous. He couldn't see behind him, which worried him more because Barnadell was digging around in the box for something. He looked out to the audience of men he knew. They were smiling, eyes with wonder.

His heart dropped when all of them broke out into uncontrollable laughter.

Barnadell walked into his peripheral vision with a hack saw. He nearly pissed himself with fear. His pupils dilated, looking up at the man he admired and trusted not five minutes after they'd met. H. C. Earwicker was in the corner of the Hall where he'd once stood, laughing harder than he wanted.

"For this trick, I'll be sawing your therapist in half," Barnadell addressed the audience. They kept laughing, filling poor Dr. Blight with terror. "This is very dangerous. You know . . . The whole sawing part . . . And putting him back together. Keep in mind that this is muggle magic."

"That means everything going to go terribly wrong," Sirius whispered to Sig.

Algernon looked up at Barnadell who was now looming over him. His breathing was sharp and he looked as if he'd choke. He pressed his arms up against the sides of the box and squirmed his legs.

"You need to let me out," Algernon whispered gravely to the man standing above him. "I'm going to have a panic attack." Barnadell looked alerted but swallowed.

"You need to trust me," He whispered back, his green eyes somehow soothing Dr. Blight back into normality. He wretched the saw into the wooden box, moving back and forth, cutting through the box. Right as he was close to Algernon's middle, the doctor winced, wondering if it would hurt. He could feel the saw moving through him like butter, but he felt no pain. Algernon felt sick inside, wondering if this was normal.

After a few moments, it ended. Barnadell and Sullivan separated the two boxes, leaving the audience in wonder. No one could fathom how it was possible without magic. Well, it was "magic", but muggle magic nonetheless. That didn't really mean anything at all. Algernon still looked pale, but said nothing. He looked up at Barnadell with a look of sadness. Barnadell glanced down between smiles to the audience's clapping. He grimaced apologetically but then quickly looked back up.

Barnadell and Sullivan grabbed their two ends of the box, spun them around and then faced each other once again. Sullivan glared at Barnadell jealousy as they connected the two boxes again. Sullivan opened the latches and helped Dr. Blight to step out. The prisoners clapped again while he hurried to his corner. Earwicker patted him on the shoulder.

"We need yet another volunteer," Sullivan announced. More people raised their hands now. Sullivan looked around with his index finger on his lips.

"Let's see . . . how about you, sir?" He pointed directly at Graham Bragg, who was close to the front of the Hall. Graham's mind seemed to slow down as he walked down the aisle. This was his chance. Fate had already picked him.

Sullivan wheeled in a large tank of water. It was enclosed with metal bars and had lights shining up from the bottom.

"Sullivan will suit me with a straight jacket," Barnadell outstretched his arms, allowing Sullivan to dress him in it. Sullivan did not strap it up from the back. Barnadell turned his back to Graham.

"Lace it up as tight as you can," Barnadell announced. Graham smirked as he took the buckles and attached them. They were obviously real, which shocked Graham. His theory had to be right. Graham tilted his head to look at the strange lump in the magician's pocket. "Do you know how to tie a good knot?" Sullivan asked, and then his eyes widened, realizing that Graham was looking at the wand in his pocket. Barnadell wondered what was taking the man so long. He was jerked with each knot tied.

"Barnadell," Sullivan stepped forth. Graham stuffed his hand down Barnadell's pants and grabbed the "magician's wand". He pointed it at Sullivan threateningly and held Barnadell threateningly.

"Nobody move!" He shouted. The guards were perplexed for an instant before the prisoner shouted "Stupefy!"

"Sullivan!" Barnadell shouted as his companion hit the ground with a thud.

Several prisoners ran up to grab the wand. In a matter of seconds, the whole place was swept with chaos. Graham could be heard screaming under the pile of men who'd jumped him for the wand that obviously wasn't just for show. Sirius and Sig stood up to see what was happening in the front of the Hall. Hundreds of men were in one cluster in front, punching past others and throwing each other around. Guards sprung into action by beating the prisoners back, not caring who did what. Dr. Blight and Earwicker scrambled to call in the dementors, who as if they already knew, where there only moments after.

Sirius grabbed Tussie and pulled him away from the madness, Sig following closely behind. He did not say anything at this point, because none of it surprised him.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Sirius lathered soap into Tussie's hair, which was sitting on a bench in front of Black. One showerhead was running, but neither of them was using it. Tussie sat silently, letting Sirius wash him. A tiny smirk appeared on Sirius' lips.

"Well, _that was exciting_, wasn't it Rem-Tussie?" Sirius asked. Tussie shrugged.

"I suppose it was," Tussie said meekly. It was the longest phrase he'd used since his lockdown. Sirius leaned over and kissed his shoulder gently. Tussie closed his eyes as Sirius massaged his skull. When Sirius was done, he led the man back to the running water. It was warm and comforting. Tussie sat under the stream, letting Sirius rinse his brown hair. Sirius stood closely to Tussie and occasionally let his fingers wander around his slick back.

"Did it make you feel happy?" Sirius asked.

"I suppose it did," Tussie replied. Sirius twisted the show knob and the water stopped. He grabbed Tussie towel and mussed it through his hair. Sirius pulled the towel from his head and wrapped it around his waist, using it to pull him closer. Sirius smiled and tenderly kissed Tussie's lips. He tucked the towel in and grabbed his hand to lead him back to their cell.

Once inside, he sat Tussie down in his own bed and sat next to him. He watched the smaller man stare off into the distance with the strangest expression on his face. He looked confused, nearly smiling, but his eyes were still empty. The two were dressed in their prisoner jumpers. Sirius held him close and nuzzled his ear. The sun was down early, most likely because of the storm coming. It was not yet time for the dementors to make their rounds. Certainly, they would be very busy tonight. Tussie swayed a bit where he sat and Sirius backed away curiously.

Tussie immediately snapped from his trance that had lasted for weeks when Sirius' hand lightly touched his upper thigh. The floodgates burst as Tussie nearly attacked Sirius' face with hungry, violent kissed. Sirius was thrown back onto the bed on his back, taking the abuse. Tussie knelt over him, kneading his head with his quaking fingers. They clenched and yanked and pulled at Sirius' long, knotted hair. Sirius whimpered quietly, his lips pausing in shock while Tussie's still enveloped them.

With his eyes tightly shut, Sirius' left hand wandered down Tussie's torso slowly, savoring each bump in his ribs, every curve until he gripped his member. Tussie thrust into his palm and moaned into Sirius' mouth.

_Sirius' blue eyes opened to see Remus on top of him._

_"This is unusual," Remus smiled, smiling above Sirius. Sirius chuckled._

_"Usually I'm on top," Sirius looked down at both of their penis' lightly touching. Remus' hands pinned Sirius down to the bed that resided in the master bedroom of Grimmauld Place. Remus felt a little awkward, but Sirius was also more prone to be aroused by the fact that he was defiling his parent's bedroom._

_Remus ignored Sirius by kissing him as hard as he could. Urgency was mixed with passion as he bore his tongue into Sirius. The werewolf's instincts were alerted and it unconsciously forced Remus to grind Sirius._

Tussie pulled Sirius' head back using his hair as a handle. Sirius' eyes opened to the sick reality. He looked up at Tussie pathetically, nearly afraid of Tussie, who would occasionally beat him to get off. Tussie gave him a twisted smile as he quickly removed his striped prisoner uniform; all while keep Sirius in his place by straddling him. Sirius attempted to undress himself, lust clouding his coherent thoughts.

Once Sirius was naked, Tussie pulled his trousers down just past his knees, exposing his throbbing member. He tightly gripped Sirius' right arm as he flipped him over on his stomach with one swift movement. Sirius came quietly and propped himself up on his elbows.

_Remus ripped Sirius around and bit his shoulder while running his fingers down the man's chest. Sirius bit his lip, letting his eyes roll back at the love bite. Callused fingers searched his body for something;, Sirius never understood what until-_

_There. Both of Remus' hands wrapped around Sirius' cock in such a wonderfully familiar way. They gave him one slow, seductive yank while he entered Sirius._

_"Beg for it, Black. After all those times you tortured me," Remus' voice was heavy with sultry. Sirius moaned. _

_"There's a full moon soon, isn't there?" Sirius gasped. Remus raised an eyebrow._

_"How did you know? I didn't say anything," Remus said speculatively. Sirius smiled secretly. _

_"You get extra . . . "excitable" before a full moon," Sirius spoke slyly. Remus eyes widened and he thrust aggressively once, at the same time jerking Sirius' member again. Sirius released an uncontrollable grunt of pleasure._

_"Beg."_

Sirius' eyes watered with Tussie going in and out on his own accord. His hands dug into Sirius' love handles for grip. Sirius' face hit the pillow below him, trying not to cry out in pain. _Think of Remus, think of Remus_, he willed himself.

_"Please, Remus. Please!" Sirius voice cracked with want. Remus kissed the back of Sirius' neck lightly, his grip never relenting. He yanked slowly again. Sirius could feel Remus' pre-cum dripping inside of him. _Remus is getting off by doing this,_ Sirius thought. He smiled wickedly as he backed up into Remus. The lycanthrope gasped, pulling his hands away and slapping his butt._

_"No. Bad dog," Remus warned. Sirius winced but back up again. Remus couldn't help himself. So what if Sirius wouldn't beg?_

_Remus thrust slowly at first, building himself up instead of pleasing Sirius._

"Please, Remus," Sirius moaned, forgetting it was Tussie behind him.

_Sirius grabbed the base on his own cock with one hand and stroked it with the other in unison with Remus' thrusts. His heart leapt in his chest as Remus licked his shoulder. He bit down right as he came into Sirius. Black yanked faster and harder and came onto the bed. Remus pulled out slowly, letting his cum spill a little. It dribbled down Sirius' balls, tickling sensuously. The two men let out a relaxing sigh. _

_They laid on their backs side by side. Sirius' hand rested on the skin just above Remus' penis. Remus' arms were crossed above his head that was resting on the pillow. After a few serene moments, Remus turned his head and leaned over Sirius. His thin lips brushed against Black's earlobe as he whispered._

_"My name isn't Remus."_

"What?" Sirius asked. Tussie still played with Sirius' ear.

"You called me Remus," Tussie pulled away, looking a little hurt. Sirius' brow furrowed.

"So? Does it matter?" He asked. Tussie slapped his cheek.

"Of course it matters!! I don't go calling you by my wife's name when I fuck you!" Tussie said indignantly. Sirius bit his lip.

"I thought it didn't matter to you," Sirius exclaimed, meaning the phrase in a general way. Tussie looked bitter and angry. He quickly put on his shirt and pants and stormed off to his own bed across the tiny room. It wasn't enough space away from Sirius, to be honest, but he had no choice.

-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N: You don't want no drama! Evil Angel by Rufus Wainwright works for this chapter. It's very sensual. Well, whatever. I hope you've enjoyed this. I know this was a weird chapter, but that won't happen again. I had a last bit of creative flem in my lungs that I had to cough out. It's all gone now.

mokubahv- I'm sorry my big surprise was CrookshanksRegulus. I'm still fuming about finding out about Mundugus. And thank you for mentioning all of my plotholes. There are a few. Embarrassing for me, really. Thank you for your comments. I'm glad you like it, considering you seem harder to please than my other readers. And. . . I'm kind of glad I made you cry. I take sadistic pleasure in the thought. Please tag along. It would make me very happy.

KnightGuardian- Yes, Sirius will escape and be reunited with Remus. There's no use in pretending it won't happen. Furthermore, in the end, it is not the words of our enemies that will stick with us, but the silence of our friends--said Ghandi anyways. And if I ever learned something from Jhonen Vasquez who learned from Alfred Hitchcock, it was that sometimes even deprivation of one of the senses can be more powerful than with that sense. In their case it was sight, but in mine it is sound. And isn't Tussie something else? Only after he uses Sirius, he finds he has a man-crush on him! Go ahead. Be like Da Jazzman and hate the shit out of Tussie. Speaking of which . . .

Da Jazzman- I was starting to worry about you! I thought you got lost in the claptrap that is the Harry Potter fandom. I almost sent out my search party, but then I realized that you are a very resourceful reviewer, and that everything would be okay in the end. Everything is always okay in the end. And if it isn't, well--it's not the end. I'm sorry you didn't get the fan service you wanted. I didn't realize you wanted it immediately. But this chapter helped, didn't it? Well, in your case, maybe it didn't. In fact, now that I think about it, you probably hated this chapter. I'm sorry. I had planned to do this before you expressed your INTENSE HATRED for Tussie. I really am sorry. This will just make it that much more gratifying when Remus and Sirius are together for real. In the meantime, those drugs are sounding good right about now.

junkoholic- I have a kick ass taste in music? Thank you! That's the first time someone has said that. All my friends think I'm crazy. My mixtapes are so fucked up. Listen to Rasputina and Rufus! And you love me? That's so wonderful. I've only had one person fall in love with me in my life and he ended up playing Rocky in the Madison version of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Which isn't bad . . . But he was . . . Pretty odd to put it lightly. Thank you for your compliments. I promise it won't go to my head because my ego can't _possibly _get any bigger. The fact that it makes you shiver with pleasure is a little . . . --Actually, I'm going to be honest--it's hot. You can stalk me or collect locks of my hair. (Really.) I'm glad this makes sense to you. And I'm glad you like Tussie. I'm just happy people feel _anything _for him. I'd never know about tussie mussies if my adult friend hadn't pulled out a book about them. I packed away the name in my head until I realized it could be Tucker's nickname. Heartwarming, right? And you think there's not enough smut? Sorry! I'll get right on that (immediately after I recover from this chapter)! Hey! You used the "seriously" joke too! I thought I was the first one to come up with that! I wonder if more people use it INCESSANTLY in their stories too . . .


	7. A Distinct Departure

**Prisoner Grim**

By Spectra16 ("IM ON UR COLLECTURS PLATES STEELING UR WALLSPACE!!")

_And now featuring the most insulting reply to a reviewer in the history of my being on fan fiction .net!! _

A/N: Sorry it took so long for this chapter. I figured you'd be reading the new Harry Potter book, because --you know-- it's socially unacceptable to not read the last installment when it's available to you. For those of you who are disappointed with my belated update, I made "I Saw OOTP" icons! http:// www . spectra16. deviantart. com.

I got a new beta reader! Meet **mokubahv**, the reliable, resourceful grammar Nazi that I need in my life.

While all other good little Conservative Christians were asleep in their beds, dreaming of gumdrops, fairies, and the rapture, the rest of the world was waiting in line at their local bookstore for the last installment of the Harry Potter series. It was a less than honorable experience for me. My friends and I got drunk while reading the first chapter. Some lady got REALLY mad when I yelled out "**CROOKSHANKS IS VOLDEMORT!!" **I guess I could see where she's coming from. I wish I could see her face when she finishes the book and find out Crookshanks is JUST A REALLY SMART CAT.I also finished the book this past Tuesday. I liked it. There were parts that I would've changed, but I give it a four out of five dog stars. **Butterflies and Hurricanes **by Muse is THE BEST song for the final battle. Seriously. Listen to it. I'm also planning on tying in the events of book 7 into this story, although the whole Crookshanks is Regulus is going to make things difficult. Watch me.

If anyone wants a rough idea of what Tussie looks like, check out Jaques C. David's painting "The Death of Marat." I just saw it on Simon Schama's The Power of Art, which is an awesome series, might I add.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Chapter Seven: A Distinct Departure

Dr. Blight's eyes were wet and glossy in the dim light of the evening. A red sun peeked through two storm clouds, lighting the ocean with brilliant cherry. He looked out of his tiny window one last time. _It's strange_, he thought to himself, _how frequently I romanticize a place like this. _

A small cardboard box sat on his birch wood desk. He wasn't taking much home, to be honest. What was the point of taking his records and documents on the prisoners? Because of the utter uselessness, he left it for his successor who might gain from them. Records on over a hundred prisoners filled portfolios that hadn't been touched for months. Maybe the Ministry would hire someone who had the same understanding and conscious as him. Maybe the Ministry would see some good in the detailed profiles of countless deceased.

_Or maybe they won't_. Dr. Blight grimaced at this thought and sad realization that the Ministry never wanted him to begin with, and that this was the perfect reason to fire him. Dumbledore had begged on bended knee for them to even consider the young Mr. Algernon Blight, idealistic and inexperienced.

He threw in a few expensive pens, gold plated and heavy. In went an ugly owl-shaped paper weight placed strategically next to the small frames that held photos of his family and friends. There were pointless, unused office supplies that sat molding in his desk since the day he arrived. Things worked differently here at Azkaban. No one was concerned with timeliness, or order, or the welfare of patients. Records didn't matter. Nothing really mattered.

Dr. Blight couldn't stand it. He ripped himself away from cleaning his desk. _How was I to know they were REAL wizards? I suppose that's why they are so popular with the muggles. _Dr. Blight steamed, not able to look at his passive aggressive letter from the Ministry on his desk, which urged him to resign, only hinting that they'd fire him if he didn't.

Looking around his office one last time, he wiped his wet eyes onto the back of his hand. He was not worried about his own welfare as he was for the prisoners. He'd been denying for months that he was the last person who still was concerned about the prisoners' sanity. It was because of humility that the doctor could not come to terms with that fact. Algernon didn't want to imagine himself as such a hero, as a savior. But now that reality was setting in, he understood it was probably true.

He bent over to pick up his leather briefcase off of the floor and wrapped an arm around the box. It was not very heavy -- not heavy enough to need both hands. He gripped the doorknob with two fingers and opened it, staring emptily down the hall.

_This is it._

He took a few careful footsteps out of the door and shut it behind him.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Eerie light filtered through dark, almost black clouds. The sea was unusually calm because it was shipment day. Several barges carried visitors, food, and supplies once every month. The water was so still, an unusual occurrence considering storms would rage surrounding Azkaban. Tides were cut in the blue expanse by propeller blades. A fishy smell rose up at the dock that sat at the base of the prison, just outside of the courtyard where prisoners could go out for fresh air. Foam and sea filth clung to the edges to escape from the beckoning sea.

One particular barge edged it's journey as it pulled up to the dock. A man threw over a rope for another guard to tie onto the side. He looked up at the towering stone. His dark eyes shifted behind at a small crate. Eyes from inside watched him work. He nodded at the eyes and started unloading the cargo with the help of some ship mates.

Guards helped to bring things into a storage room. Everything was split up into groups. The food immediately went up to the kitchens to be divided and put in the freezer. The man on the boat was sure that he grabbed the smaller crate, so that it wouldn't end up in the freezer or anywhere else.

When all the unpacking had finished, he took the small crate and cracked it open with a crowbar in the bathroom. An orange cat sprawled out on the floor, stretching and yawning. The man watched the cat eagerly as it turned into a tall, raven-haired man.

Regulus cracked his back and rolled his neck around.

"Thank you, Stephan. I need an hour today," Regulus dug into his trench-coat pocket. The man's eyes opened wide.

"An hour? How am I supposed to hold off that long?" He asked, appalled by the request.

"An extra four galleons if you can give me at least 45 minutes then?" Regulus handed him five, but taunted him with more. The man took the money and nodded.

"Fine. But you gotta find your own way back on. I can't go around looking for you like last time. I almost ran into the dementors," He hissed and left the bathroom stall. Regulus smiled and changed back into a cat.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Sirius had been laying on his back with his hands above his head, staring at the ceiling when Crookshanks trotted in. His dark eyes darted to catch the bright colored fur that stood on all ends, dirty and matted. Sirius' heart skipped at the sight of his brother, but then he remembered he was supposed to be angry with him. For a moment, he wondered if he should put up his front and make Regulus feel more guilty. But he'd had some time to think about his younger brother's decision since then, and the pent up anger with the only friend that came to see him was fading.

"Regulus! It's alright to turn," Sirius sat up on his bed. He'd blinked for just a moment, and in that millisecond, his brother stood before him.

"I have important news," Regulus swallowed hard, looking quite shaken. Sirius waited for him to speak, but nothing came. He raised his hands.

"Speak!" Sirius outburst. Regulus nodded and clenched his jaw.

"Only days after I last saw you, mother gave me her last words," Regulus seemed almost sad. Sirius' eyes were wide, never taking his gaze off of his brother. He swallowed too, and wasn't sure how to feel. Sirius gripped his knees in both hands and nodded, this time more sure of himself. After a few silent moments, Sirius realized his brother felt the same way. Looking up at him, Sirius chortled.

"You're just as confused as I am," Sirius stated. Regulus shifted his weight on his feet. Sirius' eyes had fallen to the floor, but he looked back up with a sad smile on his face.

"We're free," Sirius stood up hastily and wrapped his strong arms around his brother. Regulus froze in the embrace. He could not remember the last time someone held him, even Sirius, and especially not out of love. Regulus willed himself to open up his rigid arms to hug him back. He rested his head on his big brother's shoulder for a moment, until Sirius pulled away, still hoveringly close. Regulus did feel just as confused. He hated his mother, but she was still . . . family.

Sirius' eyes seemed to glitter, but Regulus wasn't sure if it was the light hitting them, or if it was the water welling up in them. Regulus looked away, embarrassed by the over abundance of brotherly love that they had never exchanged before. He dug into his pockets and pulled out ten galleons.

"Do you have somewhere to hide things?" Regulus asked. Sirius nodded and sat on his bed, then bending over to reach under the bed. He reached up for the galleons and stuffed them under.

"Why?" Sirius asked, not specifying what he meant. But Regulus knew, as if their recent contact had brought on some sort of phenomenon of telekinesis.

"One of the boat captains that brings in shipments is a 'friend'. He's the one who has been transporting me," Regulus crossed his arms. Sirius nodded.

"What makes you think I need to bribe him?" Sirius asked with a smirk on his face. Regulus rolled his neck again, unable to get the crick out of it.

"Something tells me you don't want to spend the rest of your days in this hellhole," Regulus identically smirked back. "His name is Stephan. He works on the fifth boat. He's bald and quite slim. He's hard to miss. He knows you're an animagus."

"I can't leave here. You know that," Sirius muttered. Regulus rolled his eyes.

"You can't just sit here waiting for Peter to surface! I can't go around looking for a damn rat while I'm on Death Eater duty!" Regulus nearly shouted, but refrained when he noticed where he was. Sirius ran his hand through his long, curled ebony hair.

"You're so lucky Voldemort isn't powerful right now. He'd be able to read you like a book. He'd know you were against him," Sirius' voice was distressed. Regulus flashed a look of arrogance.

"Severus and I have been working on Occlumency. When the Dark Lord, as I now refer to him, regains his previous fervor, we'll be strong enough to keep our heads. We're going to let him think we're under his complete control," Regulus nearly laughed manically. He sounded insane, if Sirius didn't know him better. "It's so easy to feed someone the wrong memories. It's so easy to let him think we're being controlled."

"Stop, Regulus," Sirius whispered, putting his face in his hands. Submissively he sighed, "I get it."

Regulus closed his open mouth. He saw how distressed his brother was becoming. When several uncomfortable moments passed, he spoke again.

"I'll only return when I've found Peter Pettigrew, Sirius," Regulus turned his back on his older brother. Sirius' heart dropped, but wasn't ready to stop him. Regulus curled into the orange cat and trotted out of the cell, back into the hall from whence he came.

The room was silent and empty again.

The spot in his heart that had been temporarily filled was empty again, the emotion jerking Sirius from side to side. He sat very still for a while until Tussie entered their cell and slammed the bars shut. His eyes were narrowed with anger, and he plopped down next to Black.

"Sig just got in a fight with Graham," Tussie muttered. Sirius broke from his trance and gave his partner a bewildered look.

"A physical . . . Fight?" Sirius asked, breathing shallowly. Tussie shook his head, quite relieved himself.

"No. Just yelling. It could've started though. It was close. All of Graham's cronies were behind him, ready to attack Sig. He's so much bigger than all of them. I think they were too afraid."

"What did they say? Why did they fight?" Sirius asked impatiently. Tussie scratched his head and pressed his lips together.

"I'm not sure. They said a lot of things. . . But it all sounded like . . . Well," Tussie sounded unsure of himself. Sirius grabbed his arm.

"Spit it out!"

"It sounded -kinda- like they knew each other before Azkaban. They were screaming about a lot of things that didn't make any sense. I could tell they were being vague on purpose," Tussie seemed to have worked it out more in his head and he spoke the words. He nodded to himself. "Yeah, they must know each other." Sirius' brow ridge curled.

"Is he on lockdown? Why wouldn't he tell us? He's been on Graham's case for . . . Well, ever since he came here," Sirius reached over and grabbed Tussie's hand. He squeezed a little.

"Do you think we should ask him about it?" Tussie asked, as if he had read Sirius mind.

-.-.-.-.-.-

Sig didn't even look up at his friends when they walked through his private cell. For whatever reason, the Ministry did not pair anyone with Sig, only because the severity of his size and how intimidating he was. Any prisoners paired with him in the past had stayed in another cell. Sig liked the privacy and had made it a habit to scare off his cellmates early when they'd first come to Azkaban. Even Earwicker knew it was futile.

A green apple sat in his palm while he peeled the skin off his a small pocket knife. The skin made a tiny pile on the floor between Sig's feet. Sirius and Tussie opened the large iron gate with one strong pull, screeching as it released.

"Hey, Sig," Tussie greeted. Sig didn't look up from his apple. The murderous look in his eyes kept the other two men at a safe distance. Neither Sirius nor Tussie feared their friend, but there were times when it was best to give him some space.

"Tuss told me you had some problems with Graham," Sirius leaned up against the wall with one foot pressed to it. Sig looked up but continued to skin the apple. He didn't answer, but his eyes told Sirius what had happened. Tussie tilted his head as he looked sympathetically at Sig.

"How do you know him?" Tussie blurted out. Sig's lip curled. His right hand viciously cut through the apple and skidded through his middle finger of his other hand. He winced and stifled a grunt. Tussie walked towards him and gently pulled the knife and apple from his hands. Sig put the tip of his finger in his mouth. He pulled it out again and watched the blood surface quickly. Two crimson droplets dripped onto the peels below.

"Here, come on. Let's go to the infirmary for band-aid," Tussie grabbed his underarm, which he yanked away.

"I don't need a fucking band-aid! I'm not a child!" He bellowed, taking a bite of the apple he'd hurriedly retrieved from Tussie.

"You'll feel better about what happened if you tell us," Sirius crossed his arms, looking confident as he leaned against the wall. Tussie looked over at him, loving the way he'd stand when he was in this mood. Sig rubbed his temples and his eyes.

"Graham and I worked in the same . . . Group of people," Sig spoke vaguely. Tussie's eyes widened in the wake of revelation. He then sat down next to Sig.

"In the . . . Mob?" Tussie asked, realizing that Sig had never elaborated on that subject. He wasn't about to go pressing for information now that Sig was finally talking about the reason for his quarrels with Graham Bragg.

"Yeah. He was nothing but a middle man for weapons . . . But we saw each other all too often," Sig clenched his jaw. Sirius put his hands in his pockets and stood up straight, no longer leaning.

"What did you do that it would be weird for you to see him?" Sirius asked boldly. Tussie glanced at his lover and then back at Sig.

"I was a bodyguard for . . .," Sig stopped. "It was strange to see him so often because his relationship was unusual for a weapons dealer."

"How's that?" Sirius asked, sounding more like an interrogator than a concerned friend, but he meant well all the same.

"He was going to be married to the daughter of . . . my Principle," Sig saved himself from using the name again.

"So what set you two apart?" Tussie asked. Sig shuddered uncontrollably.

"The reason why he came to Azkaban."

Sirius tried to remember the conversation he'd had with his friends about Graham. He knew it had happened, but it was so hard to recall now. Slowly memories of sitting with Dr. Blight at a cafeteria table emerged. He'd smiled politely and left Sirius to his thoughts . . . Right after he'd tried to kill himself with Regulus' metal shard. Tussie was asking him questions about how he'd gotten it, since those kinds of opportunities were not frequent. And then he remembered Sig cutting in.

_"There's a new guy," Sigmund stated._

_"No. No one came to see me," Sirius continued to talk over Sig. "No one gave it to me."_

_"Then how did you get it?" Tussie inquired. Sirius smiled._

_"None of your damn business!" Sirius ran his hand through his hair, feeling rather proud of himself now. "I'm a wizard. I tell my secrets to no one."_

_Tussie rolled his eyes and turned to Sigmund._

_"What were you saying, Sig?" Tussie asked. Sigmund gritted his teeth._

_"There's a new guy here! His name is Graham. Jus' arrived in the morning," Sigmund looked down at the feeble looking Tussie. _

_"Wup-dee-fuckin'-doo," Tussie pretended not to care. "What's he here for?"_

_"Some sort of sexual assault. He was talking about it before, but I wasn't really listening," Sigmund admitted, sounding like he was trying not to care._

Sirius snapped from the memory and his eyes narrowed at Sig.

"You made it sound like you didn't know when he got here! It was the sexual assault! Did you know then?" Sirius asked. Sig nodded shyly, shaking harder than before.

"I didn't want anyone to know I knew him. And apparently, he wanted the same," Sig replied. "He attacked his fiancé. She was just a girl . . ." Sig put his head down as his shoulders moved up and down. Silent sobs could almost be heard in the soundless cell. Tussie rubbed Sig's back to comfort him. Blood continued to run down Sig's hand. Sirius found himself asking more questions in his head, but refrained from raining them down on Sig's head. When everything had stayed quiet for a while, Sirius took a few big strides to sit on the other side of Sig and he put his hand on his shoulder.

"Did you love her?" He asked. Sig didn't look up because there were shameful tears on his cheeks.

"Of course I did," Sig's voice was rough and deep. He sniffled loudly, which echoed in the room.

-.-.-.-.-.-

It had been so long since Sirius had seen real tears. And now as he laid in bed staring at the ceiling once again, he could only be reminded of Remus' tears. Each one was so full of stress, so full of sadness that they were not just tears anymore. They were a symbol of anguish. Remus had cried so often, especially when they were still boys in Hogwarts. The sight had brought Sirius to the same physical despair he'd been burying for years because of his family.

While Tussie softly snored in the other corner of the room with his back to Sirius, he closed his eyes to remember a certain painful event for the both of them--one that went back almost twenty years.

_James and Sirius appeared in front of Peter and Remus out from under the Invisibility Cloak with wide smiled. Peter nearly screamed and Remus jumped back in his seat, flipping over the couch. James and Sirius, shoulder and shoulder, collapsed to the floor in a fit of laughter. Peter pulled out his wand, also laughing, but managed to say "Muffiato" before they'd wake someone up at this time of night . . . Well, morning really. _

_Remus got up, leaning against the couch with an embarrassed smile on his face. Sirius had tears in his eyes and he continued to giggle like a girl. James pulled a thin paper bag from his cloak and set it down on the table in the center of the room. There was a bottle of firewhiskey inside the bag. James also pulled out a shot glass from his pocket and slammed it on the table. He pulled up four floor cushions for the Marauders to sit on. _

_Sirius opened the bottle and poured the first shot. He threw it back his throat before James could stop him. James' hand reached out quickly for the bottle, but Sirius pulled it away quicker._

_"You can't start until we've read the minutes of our last meeting," James joked. Sirius shifted his eyes to his friend._

_"Fuck the minutes! Tonight is for celebrating the completion of our Marauders map!" Sirius toasted to Remus, who was sitting across from him. _

_"Even though Peter and I did most of the work," Remus set his chin down on his palm. Sirius and James nearly coughed in exasperation. _

_"You did most of the _magical_ work. We were the ones with our asses on the line, staking out the hideouts and the crevices of this school!!" James shouted indignantly. Peter was then incredibly grateful for the silencing charm he'd placed BEFORE the meeting._

_"Right you are, Prongs. But Mssrs. Wormtail and Moony should be given more credit. And because of this, we both feel we shouldn't be the last listed on it when the map states our names," Remus exclaimed. James waved his hand, taking a swig from the bottle itself._

_"We'll get to the details later. First, we need to talk about more important matters. Halloween, for instance. We've all been thinking of ideas over summer break, correct?" James turned accusatively at his twin. Sirius, who was seductively licking around the rim of the shot glass, pretended to be offended._

_"Of course I've ideas! I'm sure Wormy and Moony have some too!" Sirius snatched the bottle of firewhiskey away and poured himself another shot._

_"I'd like some too, Sirius. Don't hog it all," Remus said quietly._

_"I thought maybe we could do something special for McGonagall. Like, maybe dye her hair for her . . . She has so many grays lately," Peter smirked. James put his index finger on his chin and nodded._

_"Gray hair is a major sign of stress. . ." Remus muttered accusatively._

_"I'm thinking neon green would be a good look for her. What do you think, Padfoot?" James elbowed Sirius in the ribs as hard as he could. Sirius grunted._

_"_I don't know, James! _What do YOU think?" Sirius elbowed him back. James growled and tackled Sirius to the floor. Both Peter and Remus ignored them as Moony took the firewhiskey and shot glass from their side of the table and poured some for themselves. The two not-so biological brothers wrestled on the floor for a while before Sirius was forced to lick James' hand because he was covering his mouth._

_"That's so gross, Sirius! I can understand the whole licking bit when you're Padfoot, but DAMN!" James got off of him and wiped his hand on Sirius' pants. Sirius got up, his hair in all directions. Peter and Remus chuckled at the sight, which looked even funnier as Sirius grabbed the entire bottle of whiskey and took three gulps. James wrenched the bottle away._

_"You are going to get drunk SO fast if you keep that up," He scolded._

_"Isn't that the point?" Sirius spoke to James, but winked at Remus. Trying not to blush, Remus looked away at Peter. _

_"I really want to stage something to happen during the dinner. We've got the kitchen elves on our side. I'm sure we can arrange something . . . Delightful," James smiled evilly. Peter nodded excitedly._

_"Dumbledore gave me an idea the other day," Remus almost whispered. All eyes turned to the tiny voice in the room._

_"What?!" James gasped astonished. Jaws hit the floor._

_"Dumbledore didn't really . . . I mean . . . he hinted at something, I think," Remus looked down at the whiskey rings before him. Everything was completely silent then._

_"Well? What?" Peter asked. Remus chewed on his cheek._

_"He may . . . Or may not . . . Have said something about adding a certain potion into the pumpkin juice that would . . . Change people's voices," Remus couldn't help but grin at the thought. James raised an eyebrow._

_"Like . . . What do you mean?" James asked. Remus put his hands on the table to gesture._

_"Like helium. Your voice gets squeaky and higher because of it," Remus explained. "That would happen to the guys. But the potion would make girls' voices to get unnaturally deep."_

_Sirius threw his head back and laughed boisterously. James could tell he was already drunk even though he had been warned not to drink too much too quickly._

_"That's brilliant! Wait, did he tell you how to make that potion?" Peter asked. Remus nodded._

_"We were in the library. He handed me a book, saying how he knew I was struggling in potions, and he said this book would help. Prior to that, he'd asked me if I was excited about Halloween. After he gave me the book, he said something along the lines of 'Wouldn't it be something if this certain potion was put in the pumpkin juice! It seems to clever. . .' I wasn't sure if he was serious or not!" Remus smiled._

_"What if it's a trap? What if he's just trying to catch us in action?" Peter asked, paranoid. James shook his head, his messy hair only getting worse. Sirius' foot brushed his briefly, but Remus instinctively pulled away._

_"No way! Professor Dumbledore isn't like that. It's a safe trick! We wouldn't be hurting anyone! You know how much Dumbledore enjoys the pranks we play on Halloween!" James defended._

_"Except for the ones we _grace_ Snape with," Remus reminded them, taking a drink directly from the bottle. Sirius had sneaked off his shoe and now rubbed the side of his foot against Remus' calf. Remus glared at Sirius too quickly to see the ridiculous look he was giving him. Lupin was not unaccustomed to how hormonal Sirius would get when he was drunk. It usually went ignored. _

_Sirius whipped his head towards James, his hair hitting his face. James glanced at him with the bottle between his lips._

_"I love you, Prongs," Sirius' lips pouted as he batted his eyes. The sight had been so funny, alcohol shot out of his nose as he coughed and laughed. Peter put his had down to laugh, but Remus only rolled his eyes._

_"Shag, already!" Remus shouted, not wanting his voice to sound that insistent or loud. Sirius stopped laughing and looked at the boy across the table from him. His eyebrows were curved in such a way, it was almost a seductive stare. _

_"A little jealous, Remmy?" Sirius took another swig. Peter and James were still laughing, but Remus found nothing about the situation humorous. Remus figured he wouldn't say anything, but a few seconds later, he realized he should have._

_Sirius threw himself over the small table, wrapping his arms securely around Remus' neck and placed a searing kiss between the werewolf's lips. Half of Remus' back was pressed up against the couch uncomfortably. As Sirius' lips hungrily devoured his, he could only hear James and Peter laughing harder. The smell of alcohol was more evident to Remus' senses than the taste of Sirius' mouth. The boy on top of him ran his hands everywhere desperately. _

_James wiped away a tear from laughing so hard, when he realized Remus looked like he was in paralysis. His hands were rigid at his sides. Sirius was moving quickly on top of him, his eyes open taking in the sight. Remus', however, were tightly shut, leaving his forehead riddled with creases. James cleared his throat._

_"Sirius!" James used his real name, "Stop it! Poor Moony is uncomfortable with you treating him like a girl!" Peter laughed with his head still down on the table, pounding his fat fist on the oak. Remus didn't want Sirius to stop, but at the same time, couldn't wait for the uncertainty to end. _

_Sirius pulled out of the kiss and inelegantly ran the tip of his tongue along of Remus' nose and up to his forehead. James blanched and covered his own eyes. Before getting off of him, Sirius ran the center of his desire along Remus' leg with a pelvic thrust that made Peter gag. He was dizzy from the encounter and smiled lopsidedly at the boy on the floor._

_"S-sirius, go to bed! You've been bad!" James stuttered, realizing he also had too much to drink. Sirius fell back into his original seat, leaning up against James for support._

_"You wanna kissy too?" Sirius joked and put his face in James' neck. James had the fortitude to push his friend away, forgetting that Sirius had no balance, he hit the floor on his back. Sirius and James smiled and turned to Remus at the same time._

_Remus' eyes were welled up with tears. His lip quivered as if he'd cry out like a child in a matter of moments. Peter had stopped laughing too when he saw how distraught Sirius' behavior had made him. Remus shot up from his seat and stormed off to their dorm room. Sirius reached out his hand to Remus' back and tried to stand up. He did so, wobbly, and grabbed the bottle._

_"Wait here," Sirius found he could barely speak, but tried his best. He swaggered over to the dorm room door and opened it a bit, hearing sad sobs muffled by what Sirius assumed was a pillow._

_"Remus, I'm so sorry," Sirius forced the words. Remus' red curtains around his bed were shut. Sirius gently parted them and knelt down next to Remus' head. The moon hid behind the clouds tonight, but on nights that it didn't, Remus' fear lit the entire room with a blue light. Sirius mind was numbed as he shook Remus' arm._

_"I'm so, so sorry," Sirius breathed. Remus pulled his face away from the wet pillow and gave Sirius a spiteful glare._

_"How could you do that? You don't care about anyone's feelings," Remus voice was unsettlingly calm, but reminded Sirius of a raging storm. The weather before a storm was always gray, apocalyptic, and gave you a feeling of ambiguity. Remus' voice was the calm before the storm. Albeit soft, it was layered with pain and hate. Sirius held his arm desperately._

_"I'm in love with you," Sirius said with confidence. Remus shook his head and sobbed again._

_"You're drunk," Remus replied. His face was wet to Sirius' touch when he cupped his cheek._

_"I'm so in love with you."_

_"You can't even comprehend what I'm saying," Remus spat. "You don't love me! You're fucking drunk!!" He shouted. Sirius' eyes widened in the dark._

_"Remus! Please!" Sirius insisted. Remus groaned and turned away from Sirius to lay on his stomach. A few empty moment went by when Remus was unsure of what Sirius would do. He said nothing, he was doing nothing. Remus closed his eyes to see if Sirius would walk away and leave him alone. _

_Instead, Sirius climbed into bed with Remus and wrapped his arms around his waist. Remus did nothing, just looked into the blackness of the wall. Sirius closed the curtain around Moony's bed and nestled his face into the back of Remus' neck. He breathed in the scent of Remus and then exhaled, tickling his neck._

_"You'll see tomorrow. I really do love you."_

-.-.-.-.-.-

**autumn145**- I think you know exactly why Tussie is acting the way he is. It's not hard to figure out. People say things they don't mean, or they can change their minds. I'm glad you found the last chapter entertaining. I was a bit worried that it wouldn't be. Wednesday rolled around that week and I panicked because I hadn't even started the sixth chapter. (I usually post Thursday.) There are a lot spelling errors because of that. A lot of things happened that prevented me from writing. (A friend of mine is going through a really hard time and I am trying to help as best as I can. The only way I know how is to baby-sit for his son. I'm only human! I can't secrete Felix Felicis, I can't make people be a certain way, and I don't know where the pot of gold is at the end of a rainbow!!)

**mokubahv**- Fangirl fit? That sounds pretty serious. Are you sure you don't need medical attention? Dr. Spectra IS in. My services are free, especially for beta readers. /mutters/ Somebody needs to offer universal health care. /normal voice/ And if you think this chapter was awesome, then it probably was. I was so self-conscious about it! (Whenever you say "tagging along", I think of you as my little cat beanie baby with a shoe string around it's neck that I'd drag down the street to the park when I was no more than four feet tall. Nevertheless, I'm grateful you'll stick around.)

**Meggie**- My first anonymous reviewer? How touching. When I saw your name, I immediately imagined myself in a bright red suit and I had just grown an enormous beard. I then sat you firmly on my lap and asked what your name was and what you wanted for Christmas. (Your name fits the image.) But instead of telling me what you wanted, you let me know that I'd made a 'good' try to get it out of you, and that my elves were too Out-of-character. Shortly afterwards, you began tugging at my beard (very hard) and asked if I was _really_ Santa Claus. Of course I'm not, you silly twit! I'm merely an old bum with no job who has a great fondness for goat cheese (which is very clear to you). Your habit of 'not reading too carefully' is a direct result of skimming every Sirius/Remus story you can get your grubby little hands on only to find the smut. **I'm sorry I disappoint you. **But I'm sure I'll have a fun time searching your "Favorite Stories," only to find that they are poorly written pieces of Harlequin trash that can be found in the bargain bin at Pick n' Save for 50 cents a shot. **Again, I am sorry. **I'm glad you had it in your to grace me with the words "pretty good start." I am eternally grateful.

P.S.- I think you meant "seams," not "seems."


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